regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 152.30.60.187	1-Feb-04/12:36 PM
Sure.
regarding some deleted poem...	richa 81.178.204.198	1-Feb-04/12:39 PM
Best bit about this is 'wanted to do the chick right'. That by finishing the poeme you had something more meaningful. (if you meant do right by her).
regarding some deleted poem...	middenHeap 80.132.178.112	1-Feb-04/12:41 PM
lol. Immaculately cute. You did very well with the rhythm, and the topic is without question original. My only nitpick, purely for the sake of scansion & form, would be to not bother with "the" before ground and keep cats & ground on one line in the penultimate stanza.
regarding some deleted poem...	Stephen Robins 195.92.198.75	1-Feb-04/12:52 PM
Rockmage this is for you and your Aardvark. We are all artists. It's just that you are not very good.
Re: Tales From The Outhouse by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	middenHeap 80.132.178.112	1-Feb-04/1:08 PM
astounding in it's perfection. An IQ of 98, you say? By god you use every point to great effect.
regarding some deleted poem...	andrewjthomas 66.93.78.35	1-Feb-04/1:21 PM
you see, for this sort of personal attack on another poet to work you both have to be famous and acknowledged by the literary community, but you aren't so shut it
regarding some deleted poem...	andrewjthomas 66.93.78.35	1-Feb-04/1:28 PM
in my opinion, this is much better than your other submissions a few gentle suggestions: i would change the title to something like "worms" it gives a clue to the reader what you're talking about and you already use "Helminthophobia" extensively through out the poem and don't need to waste it on the title (personally i am a fan of the title adding extra meaning and content to the poem) second, while this is free verse, you should still stick to your own rythmn and structure so i would move the "NO!" up to the line previous and edit the cats stanza to be 4 lines like all the other stanzas i suggest deleting the last line in that stanza entirely and change the 4th line to "i go weak if i see one around" this also helps because the peep line is awkward to say anyway, very good effort here you seem to be improving :)
regarding some deleted poem...	andrewjthomas 66.93.78.35	1-Feb-04/1:33 PM
great originality well constructed and i agree with the sentiment but sorry, i got in :P
Re: La Belle Epoque by andrewjthomas	andrewjthomas 66.93.78.35	1-Feb-04/1:38 PM
ok, this has several problems and i'd love some good editing comments
regarding some deleted poem...	xxx 68.165.172.185	1-Feb-04/1:44 PM
Yes Critter. Yer showing talent!
regarding some deleted poem...	xxx 68.165.172.185	1-Feb-04/1:47 PM
Poor Critter! Your insults are still CRIPPLED! But, your love for me is touching none-the-less. Thank you. I feel BLESSED.
Re: La Belle Epoque by andrewjthomas	zodiac 152.30.60.187	1-Feb-04/2:02 PM
Woah there. Well, I'm with darkangel on the general annoyingness of arbitrary linebreaks, but I firmly believe that for a poem to be regarded as such (ie, as a poem,) it has got to a) look like one, and b) not scare people with what looks like a lot of unpunctuated long lines. So at the very least I would insert extra breaks after 'image', 'Hall', and so on. Make it look like stanzas, like something manageable. For another thing, the ends of lines are not anywhere regarded as periods or commas; you should insert these where needed. And third (ie, most daring,) you might consider some arbitrary linebreaks. You see, I'm sure, how most of the lines end cleanly at the ends of thoughts or clauses? That doesn't have to be. I don't know how lines should be broken up (I only do it by rhyme,) but I've heard it has something to do with making the fragments of phrases meaningful (sometimes) as smaller phrases. That's half. The other half, I would imagine, is just making it look striking and poetic. Again, I have no idea how. In fact, you can ignore this whole last part if you choose. But definitely make stanzas. People like stanzas.
Re: Gethsemane (or, Jesus learns what's up with dying) by zodiac	SupremeDreamer 69.19.177.104	1-Feb-04/2:07 PM
brilliant, fucking brilliant. 10.
Re: On The Floor of the Hospital by Fear of Garbage	lastobelus 80.132.178.112	1-Feb-04/5:45 PM
I don't understand what the red books are about, or how they relate to the rest of the pome. Last line is stunning. "snapping like thorns off of cotton" is incredibly apt. monitor is spelled wrong. The two lines about the nurse -- you get much done with few words. more more more more more more. I want more. Quit school and write 12 hours a day. Or something.
Re: The Postcard Shop by Fear of Garbage	lastobelus 80.132.178.112	1-Feb-04/5:58 PM
I can't find a context to encompass the details.
Re: Tales From The Outhouse by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	Shuushin 207.5.211.177	1-Feb-04/7:48 PM
Brilliant. Anyone voting less than an *almighty* TEN - is an ass - and I mean that, else God take my eyes.
regarding some deleted poem...	andrewjthomas 66.93.78.35	1-Feb-04/8:06 PM
amen
Re: Tales From The Outhouse by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.	horus8 24.126.116.54	1-Feb-04/8:11 PM
The best poem ever, proving what I've said almost all along DA is the bestestesses.
regarding some deleted poem...	xxx 68.165.172.185	2-Feb-04/12:05 AM
Good show.
regarding some deleted poem...	xxx 68.165.172.185	2-Feb-04/12:09 AM
A bit clichéd.