| regarding some deleted poem... |
xxx 66.167.204.219 |
20-Nov-03/1:55 PM |
|
|
 |
| regarding some deleted poem... |
<~> 64.252.186.33 |
20-Nov-03/4:35 PM |
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
<~> 64.252.186.33 |
20-Nov-03/4:43 PM |
|
don't be a fool! sympatriate, man!
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
http://mulberryfairy 216.195.145.200 |
20-Nov-03/5:59 PM |
|
A good story. I know what you mean about the rock collectors, I once worked at a gymnasium that they rented for one of their conferences, weird bunch they are, they'll talk both ears off if you don't think of a good excuse to get away fast. This reminds me of an interesting adolescent fiction novel called Holes that I just read with one of my child clients.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Joe is Dead Now by Freethinker1602 |
Shardik 24.126.116.54 |
20-Nov-03/7:57 PM |
|
|
|
| Re: You're Good by Freethinker1602 |
Shardik 24.126.116.54 |
20-Nov-03/7:58 PM |
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
Shardik 24.126.116.54 |
20-Nov-03/8:01 PM |
|
it never stops with five.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Untitled by some deleted user |
Shardik 24.126.116.54 |
20-Nov-03/8:02 PM |
|
|
|
| Re: The Waiting Room by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. |
jauser 64.169.232.221 |
20-Nov-03/8:43 PM |
|
|
|
| Re: A Parable Of War by Caducus |
INTRANSIT 64.12.96.46 |
21-Nov-03/5:23 AM |
|
Best war poem I've read in a while. Your development becomes you.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Earth, or, When You Take Me From This Good Rich Soil by david |
INTRANSIT 64.12.96.46 |
21-Nov-03/5:33 AM |
|
The only thing I don't like about this is its' quasi-repetetive nature. I thumbed through your file. Write more please.
|
|
|
|
| Re: The Mystery of My Bobble Headed Doll by CouchPotato |
eyrbare 143.235.128.127 |
21-Nov-03/7:30 AM |
|
Can visualize the scene very well. Good job! =D
|
|
|
|
| Re: Lesson in Wickedness by eyrbare |
INTRANSIT 205.188.208.105 |
21-Nov-03/8:31 AM |
|
yes. Also: when the ache of ancestors happens before death, cattyness can be cancelled and life dictated, instead.
bravo.
P.S. Sorry to lead you on. I'm no collegiate.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Lesson in Wickedness by eyrbare |
richa 81.178.227.175 |
21-Nov-03/8:32 AM |
|
like it, can you get up to Z???
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
Christof 217.44.71.71 |
21-Nov-03/9:05 AM |
|
I think this would be even better if you lost the last two stanzas - they sound prosaic and tie down the poem when it could really fly with the suggestive itch at the end. I like the rhyme of 'audacity' and 'capacity', I'd like to see more of that and less spelling of things out. I wonder if you lack confidence in your ability to make your meaning plain?
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
Christof 217.44.71.71 |
21-Nov-03/9:08 AM |
|
OK this is much better, witty, tender and evocative. Yip, I like this, top stuff.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Love, Lust, Lost by Miggy |
some deleted user 162.83.178.6 |
21-Nov-03/1:43 PM |
|
the following don't rhyme: start/star; romance/occupants; would; hollywood
another revision may be in order.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Earth, or, When You Take Me From This Good Rich Soil by david |
horus8 24.126.116.54 |
21-Nov-03/1:51 PM |
|
Huh, that was a neat hybrid.
|
|
|
|
| Re: What I know of monsters by Bachus |
Caducus 195.92.168.166 |
21-Nov-03/2:54 PM |
|
Cracking
Werewolving my tears
back at the moon. I race through thickening
changings and habits too sooned.
class !
|
|
|
|
| Re: A Parable Of War by Caducus |
horus8 24.126.116.54 |
21-Nov-03/4:00 PM |
|
"Raising the ground yet further from God." Brilliant.
|
|
|
|
