This brings a smile. I needed one. Thank you.

was this yoderian constructed last stanza in the last version? quickly now - make it engrish!

This moves. This clicks, cricks and whirrs - but I don't know what kind of machine it is. an -8- for a fresh theme, especially.

"yine" :O) fun language, but I have no idea what this is saying. White plains? Is that new york or NEW JERSEY??!? I'm giving this a -7- for making me grab a map. and why you kill all yer old stuff?

oh - can you dump my creds line; gives me the heebies. glad to help though.

Nice. Sad. I love the last verse. What is a doppelganger?

Is the heart worth loving? Is the soul worthy of being missed? Are you talking about yourself? Maybe its better off in the dark.

Amazing. scary/possessive?

typo in first stanza.

A real Yerkel

you really loaded up on this "dood, look! im shakespeare in the 21rst century" act. it sounds all good and highmighty- shakes is turnin in his coffin with jealousy and shit: but its fuckin padding, that cramps whatever the hell your trien to say. in short, DA's favorite word: pretentious. (note to self: take 200 showers) plus this goose-swan + zeus-nemesis? what the fuck? how the hell do they relate? *huston, is he sayin all that to sound amazing?* but honestly: bullshit. sound of god.. yeah, but i didnt intermix birds and greek gods- lookin to steal a kiss from NEMESIS? of all the damn girlie gods, your trien to smooch her? Talk about a fucked ending from the start. dont take my lil rant here too bad- im just being down right honest- its not just because shakeman isn't on my goodside either.

It sounds like your contridicting yourself. Silence cupped in your palm? LIke a grail of fresh water? You are ultimately the Creator? It sounds good and is emotive, althought the meaning is masked. Puzzling.

Disconcerting? Did you mean disconcerning?

I like it but isn't avalanche too messy/dusty/destructive?

:o0 i gather its worth an 8max

I only say ditto to what I said befor. Huzza Shuushin!

Unfortunately I was unaware of the voting war that was taking place and I inadvertently added to the melee. I zapped myself a blue zero and a blue four and richa a blue 10 because I honestly belive his poetry right now is better than the two I have on the top list. I am guilty as charged!!!!

enev though there's enough to make our mistakes This line gives merit to the poem

its got that formula for a good lyric - familiar lines and rhymes - gonna hit the median heart and mind. but you have a few deeper points here and there; works well enough. -8- cuz I was a hard-ass, east-german judge on your last one.

Would probably be good as a performance piece. I imagine an enraged 14 year old, resplendent in his street creds and hard won disrespect for the "man" and how society is oppressing him and his "posse" of "homies", a few gold chains and base-ball cap doing that arm crossing thing that was popular in the early 90's. Yo yo you – Maybe spice it up with some “izza”’s at the end of a few sentences. yeah, that would be dope. Do it. -5- (same shit, different day)