irishfolksuicide
on A History of Truth by Blue Magpie
9 Oct 2003, 7:43 AM
don't like the rhyming, it seem arbitrary.
Other than that I like it. Reads like a kind of thesis in verse.
Glad you mentioned emerson
So many ace lines, my favourite is' To swim is so much harder than to float or clasp the nearest rock and say that this is now my truth' a nice little half rhyme too.
Not too didactic either which is quite a feat for a poem about truth
Aren't there about a million poems about standing on cliff edges?
Gosh I hate that asswell!!!!111
The sun shines out my arks of golden wonder too
DYEWANNA BE IN MY GANG MY GANG MY GANG
DYEWANNA BE IN MY GANG OH YEA
DYEWANNA BE IN MY GANG MY GANG MY GANG
DYEWANNA BE IN MY GANG OH YEA
DYEWANNA BE IN MY GANG MY GANG MY GANG
DYEWANNA BE IN MY GANG OH YEA
Oh alright then
I look forward to hearing some more poems about how much you enjoy drugs. I feel it is a much unexplored topic on this site.
excellent poem, a few nits
1) verse 2 is a cliche
2) so is I think I knew her better than she
3) the repetiition of lines and themes
4) the abrupt turn at the end 'but this is not a love poem' somehow the fascinated not love needs to be eased into the poem earlier, either that or have it as an abrupt punchline.
merely details, merely details
both beat in a chest within a dank dark grave?
yes I like it, refreshing, the spark of an idea
Contrary to popular belief, the heart is merely a muscle for pumping blood around the body, not some sort of organ of love or container for the soul.
Me too.
Rarrrr.
Dangie fervor, of course.
Very good.
There once was a Goldsmith called Zac,
Who carried his wealth in a sack,
He sympathised a lot
With those who had not
He ended up painting himself black.
Beginnig with the first sentence my skin began to crawl. Reading on, hairs stood on my arms. My hands began to sweat... And that was just the first paragraph. My body temperature seems to have dropped a few degrees and I was shivering by the end. My jaw is clenched and my forhead tingles in a most unpleasant way.
Do you hear that? That's a one armed bum fucking a stale donut in a agreement somewhere in AMERICA!
A bowl of solid gravy.
retard
You are a master of the chill! I thought at first dipsy kismet and then I thought stalker and then back to fate. Delicious bit of (I thought Irony, but that certainly is not the word.)
Epic, romantic, a nuance fest.
i so cracked up at the last 2 lines of S4.
very modest but my mark sir is not - 8
i'm knackered but some bits i likey and some bits i had to pinch myself to check i was in the same poem/prose/ thingy.
Meagan sounds cute.
I see your still producing Mills and Boon backjackets.
Your talent makes me sick.
10 out of 10 10 out of 10 10 out of 1010 out of 10 ctrl v ad nauseum