This is very good. Interesting how this piece might be interpreted. Some might say that the poor chap in question is a fool who cannot accept reality and spends his life running in place (and into walls!!!) On the other had, and this is how I see it, the chap here is a visionary who is not afraid to think out of the box. He does not shrug his shoulders and say "that's just the way it is, you can't do anything aobut it" Now, for sure this person is going to get more than his share of lumps in his life. He will need to be strong because he will oftenb fail and will often be the subject of ridicule and criticism. But here's the catch..every person whose ever accomplished anything truely great in their lives has approcahed the world in this manner. Perhaps I've taken this piece way beyond it's intended destination....that's just the way it touched me. Really enjoyed it! -10-

great wordplay and refreshingly unpretentious.

I prefer when you write outside your conversational vernacular. It's leaner and actually reads like a poem. Except for the Palestinian HotRod one for which that treatment was perfectly suitable. I prefer stealthy to stealth. Otherwise, I agree with richa.

Lots of good stuff in here, for sure. Just need to cut the fat. I think hatters hare must be thinking of "The Trees" in stanza 2, but the style and metaphor are really nothing like Peart at all. I certainly wouldn't take that as a criticism, anyway.

cool i like this poem. -8-

difficult to read, I think limericks usually have lines 1,2,5, roughly the same beat and long, and lines 2,4 the same beat and short. It could be inversed but this is neither. As for the story being stupid, limericks kind of are, I have not read many limericks that are on serious issues, I think it is the zip and loudness that lends itself to silliness.

natures skyscraper... I like this (even without the apostrophe) and I was digging the poem until if flopped over and turned melodramatic. K.I.S.S.

Punctuation would not hurt.

The lack of punctuation and using the “line break” pause takes a poem that makes little sense and makes it make even less sense.

I argree, whole-heartedly, so here's another of my gree tens for you...

Don't look at me. I give the Green Five!

Erm... And...For NO REASON! MUAHAHAHA AHKKDEERBLITHPUTY sorry i just inhaled my roaching cherry. Blahch.

A vale is a depression or a valley. Are you saying the ancient queen is tucked away in a ruby valley? And why the ............... instead of just ... which is just effective but only if you know how to use it properly, which you don't. And the direct voice is not working here. You are writing the poem to "us" not a specific "you". Thus, it is nothing more than bad didactic rambling.

ahaaahhaahahahah, feezus that was ahoot. 9.

better.

I've got five GREEN zeros this week, and let me tell you it feels so much better

ace line breaks

http://poemranker.com/poem-details.jsp?id=68228 Proof, we have a lot in common.

I most often make myself laugh the hardest.

A sad bitter leif Garret