sliver
on On the Occasion by tadpole
2 Oct 2003, 8:48 PM
You must be Native American.What Occasion may I ask?
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
2 Oct 2003, 8:49 PM
We've all had those feelings. :)
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
2 Oct 2003, 8:50 PM
The title drew me in...wonderul word play in this.
Hmm, possibly your best so far? no, but close.
Lovely. And such original thinking to go along with it.
Very thought provoking. I like your style.
Great concept and style. I love the message behind your words.
Cutting edge, dude.
It is a song. Take the verse about Grand-pa and build on it, I'd be interested in hearing that. Not that thas isn"t interesting, but I especially like that image. Talk about how it's bringing grandma down, etc.
Verse 4, line 2, heeded? Leave my with a smile baby, I'll still love you in the morning.Especially after the poems you would be bound to write about the smile I put on you.
I am far from learned, so I cannot offer much critique. Here is a ten.
What is an infant rainbow as opposed to just a rainbow? And are they not limitied to a certain number of colors?
What is a veil of oblivion?
Why do all of these have 3 ten's? Are you cheating? Hoar us wrote a haiku about that. Anyway on to the poem. What to say? Quit dating insensitive assholes who can't finish for starters. Still, a well written emotional vent.
A nice piece to get lost in. And I do get lost, simple minded as I am. If you read any more of mine you'll see what I mean, just click my name. But back to this one,I think you must study Ancient Greece and the Bible, I see them both here somehow. I like it
I shall bestow a meritorious 10.
Blood and circus. Whoops make that bread and circus. Or mabe bloody bread. Civilization is dead. Feed the clown.
I think you may be exactly what these pimple faced baboons need. Oh to breath the fresh scented air of a new style. (Plus I saw your picture, and DAMN.)Read a few more of mine and speak freely, please. Well done with this.
NOthing personal. Well said. Just don't like love poems much.
Good images. Love unreturned is still love. Love poems not my thing.
It's funny that you would use "Sliver of reality",Then talk about my purpose in life. Few and far between are we, but I am certain that will change, just like the weather, may a new season come.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
2 Oct 2003, 9:25 PM
:o