Heard the story many times before. 'The one who once would have died for me now Dies before me...' stood out, a nice play on words which is more than you get from most poems.

I often work for jerk sauce and fried iguana.

Skill.

Amen.

Nice thumb, I guess it never fully recovered from when you pulled it out of your ass. P.s. Life boatman did one WAY better. Study it.

I would if Dark Angel wasn't borrowing both sets of my teeth currently.

A splendid poem, but the line breaks and lower case crap simply doesn't work here.

Ooh! Useless ellipses and whining self-pity! Darling, you could have a great career writing poemes for uses as emetics. Don't waste your talent on us.

hmmm. how does one actually figure out whether or not the moon has been battered? Doust it cry. Doust it shimmy? Perhaps... it sends you an e-mail saying "help me I'm a battered in the pants of some highschooler on a bus staring at you right now with a brown eye!"?. That's it battered moons don't have black I's they have brown I's. lol. between me and you? your title is fucking seriously pathetic on a huge scale. An avalanche, if you will, of retardation. Kitsch to the max!

very creative and clear. Though I'm always against racism and biggotry, I admit appreciating your honesty for fear of "jews and negroids." As is common practice where fear is so freely distributed.

Wow, that has fantastic imagery!

"If you look all the sponges" you'd need visine. 'took'. Answer to 1 = It wouldn't be any "deeper" or 'denser' or shallower. it would be an ecological catastrophe. #2 Light acrobatic Asians qand or levitating pariahs. #3 Sign makers aren't intelligent enough to strike, not to mention there is no factory that makes signs, they're homemade 99% of the time the other 1% they are borrowed. #4 as far back as you are currently #5 Because you posted it on a site where people read poetry and other forms of writing to be read in return. #6 Because I have no legs. #7 Eating luckycharms and perhaps a bit of laundry before interviewing Gary Coleman. #8 BECAUSE HE'S A BLACK MIDGET RUNNING FOR OFFICE. here's a question for you? Why do you keep shaving your chimpanzee and taking him for longwalks on cold days? Answer: Because you are A Monkey abuser.

So-So. I've seen better from you.

The last time I smelled a Temptation? he spun around splashing lukewarm jerry curl juice upon my naked buttocks. Naturally, I instantly climaxed in a heap of off Navy blue jelly and fuzzy toenail clipping pearljam to suck my thumb and coo. LIKE A REAL MAN in an unreal world full of hate and 7 elevens. I'm so sad so so damn sad *sniffle*.

Surely.

I like the train metaphor, I would suggest working some more train related words in there and maybe working with the flow a little

liked the "bull moo." Maybe use another word instead of "cracked" twice

I don't know did we really all do "the best we could"? do we really breath out thanksgiving? and give thanks everytime we pray?

lovely. ;-)

I like this a lot.