add another 4 lines with the same rhyme as the first 2 , end it with 2 non rhyme lines and you have thee a sonnet ! As a poem - deluxe - the last line kind of crackles not explodes apart from that a dine squirt of ink 8

fine squirt of ink even

More bodily fluids, please.

No Tom, here's a quicker way: G R A C E Now Tommy baby let me tell ya someting about picking up chicks...cause you got the wrong approach....you've got it all backwards. Feable mind-games don't work (that's how chicks pick us up).. charm does. Let Crystal know how much you enjoy her writing..how it obviously reflects the passion of a woman of deep thoughts and firey emotions. Admit to her that you've visited her web site and find her extremely attractive. Beauty and intelligence is truely are rare combination. Finally, tell her you'd like to get to know her better. Ask her if she'd like to take in a Broadway show...perhaps some wine and cheese (no pun intended) afterwards. Tom, are you getting any of this? Hope this helps. Joe-joe

Tomorrow I will re-read your poem and come again.

Hey I came again!

I literally can not stop coming.

I have blown my whack all over my shorts.

My third leg is providing a prop to my desk after reading your poetry!

If I come again my nuts will shrivel up and fall off and I shan't be able to produce anymore gametes. In the name of the lord please write no more of this sperm inducing poetry or I shall not be able to have children.

i like it, somewhere there it reminds me of something, where and what idk, tho it is there >8<

Right I hope your happy with yourself I am now unfertile; well unless I can gather up the lake of gametes under my desk and put them in the fridge before all my baby paste dies. But god that is good poetry!

why no title?

it's nice, & it could use some "clues", tho i couldn't say where or what

lol

hmmmm not much to say on this one. I like it.

lmao. well, now that was good darkie. 10. are you two going to get married soon? will there be icecream and cookies? (will the church have ramps for your wheelchair?) these little details are good to know about. (oh, and where are my lost comments?)

Awesome. I wish I could express the same love I feel for Katie as you do for CLS without ejaculating - this is simply perfect, Laudanum to a tired mind.

The imagery is outstanding. I love the closure...sweet!

I guess you should kill yourself. Just kidding.