-10-

I would give it a companion piece in another stanza the same size. Like: At the bottom of the post, hops A blind crow

I smoke Lambert and Butler. Otherwise accurate. -9-

pretty good. nice and simple.

Let me guess...you're a network specialist currently laying fiber in the New York City Subway system?

cumbersome/heavy-redundant, in fact, lose the not started stanza altogether. and I don't like (poor sod) either. i get the geeling you're trying to end this on a positive note. poor sod doesn't fit. put it back on the lift, and adjust accordingly. whv.

stab...and twist and stab...and twist2-3-4-

Trend setter, I'm better, I whip my nose with the sheets of an overweight bed wetter.

Your time will arrive my friend. Sorry, about the Settle thing, he made me swear on the back of a square.

Ha ha ahh. I see you've made fine use of all of that time alone in that truck's cab.

well, I alt+f4 it, but not before saying it's very cute.

the last line I think is wasted, as it has been explained in the rest of the poem. the breasts into an undersized bra, unwilling? anthropomorphism?

Proof that too much time on the internet distorts ones sense of reality. I'm really happy the ending did occur in the midst of a sexual climax... yours or your 2 dimensional friend...screen cleaner was just not meant to handle such a job. Go to a bar or club tonight. I'm sure you'll do better.....at least I hope so.

its a decent rendition of teh first one. -9-

Poemranker, like Scrabble, does not allow the use of proper nouns.

This poem made me really want to have a cigarette.

The second verse is quite excellent, but then it got a bit soppy.

I see you have really bucked the system by refusing to use an apostrophe to indicate a contraction. Power to the people!

Bees are really excellent.

Mensturate in the shark pool!!! Why didn't I think of that?