i c what you mean, sir.

I won't spoil this for the others.

well, no wonder he didn't swallow! his bounce is all off-beat. (ouch.)

Yes, I think it is your looks. But you're a lovely lass otherwise.

Whoa, enjoyable. I really liked the last too lines to top it off. I would have been able to read it better with a little punctuation. . .but I'm sure when you read it out loud it's there

never thought I could like a poem about a rat so much!

made me snicker.

how true and sad and sick it is

I like it, I like it a lot

You need to abridge this by a further eight lines.

wordiness is an advantage. more to work with. unlike my sometimes ground-up-bones-for-a-poem style. Seriously, spend some time with this and the fox poem. both have plenty going for them. whv.

Did you know that John Cleese's real name is John Cheese? -9- (It would be 10, but half the lines don't scan properly)

When I was about 10, "space-ship" was a word for a floater. -10-

last line in s-1 took a wrong turn for me. otherwise....

killer opening line. nothing else, sorry

bravo! it is refreshing to see that some of the rankers are making use of the more modern conventions. a fine prose-pome indeed, sirrah! -2 for cerical (sic) errors.

wound copper. tricksy, he is. he watches us, yess, he does.

Golden Q - Tip award. For obvious reasons. 10!

I once lived on a foetus farm, you know. Ghastly work, especially in monsoon season. The fields were often utterly awash with unformed hearts and amniotic sacs. Of course we made do with what we had, and in fact it was my uncle who invented cheese & amnion flavoured crisps and sold the formula to Walkers (who renamed it at once). This poeme is rubbish though.

that last line's a sucker punch, richa. it does not feel like it is yours to write. if this is your new voice, grow into it in the prior 7 lines. (but i rather prefer the first 7 to the 8th.)