Is he now?

Looking at a shrunken gland surpasses reading this.

How can you live with yourself knowing that you wrote this poem?

good, but I bet you could smooth it out a little more 8

You live separate lives? Why i've never heard of anything quite so confoundedly ridiculous, or selfish, in all my time here 'pon peomranker What were you thinking? Otherwise this is abrilliant poem with just the right amount of intrigue, symbolism and realism. I particularly liked the beautifully worked sting in the tail which i'm sure no one could have anticipated.

Shockingly limp character attack on the Cheese family name.

Earwig baby snacks Pass me that sex wax

A handsome young buck named Tom Cheese Insulted a lad from Dumfries: He asked without guilt, Can I look up your kilt? But the lad was a lass named Louise

There should be more vestibular sacs in the human body. Frantically sellotaping on ever newer harvests of Bowman's Capsules simply isn't working anymore.

Quality

yes, if only all science lessons were given in haiku, or vilanelle or tanka or the like. We could all be happy in the knowledge that we would never have to go to english class again.

Not too much that could be criticised by DA's mediocre poetry chart here. In that sense this is refreshing. Nothing to really grab but pleasant as a summers day.

like the transcription of an adolescent hissy fit.

[_] AABB rhyming scheme [_] About drugs [_] About romantic love [_] About writing [_] About suicide or self-mutilation [_] About the author's social pastimes [X] Arbitrary indentation [X] Arbitrary line breaks [_] Autobiographical but written in the third person [X] Clerical errors [_] Clichéd imagery (gazing out of window, tears falling like rain) [_] Clichéd rhymes (love/above, heart/apart) [_] Clichéd angst words (putrid, wretched) [X] Devoid of rhyme [X] Devoid of other linguistic embellishments (alliteration, onomatopoeia) [X] Devoid of other literary devices (simile, synaesthesia) [X] Devoid of wondrous or fantastical imagery [X] Ellipses used overabundantly [_] Insipidly whimsical or zany [_] Internet shorthand or emoticons [_] Leaving rant [_] Lower case only [_] 'Lyrics' [_] Melodramatic [X] Naively religious or superstitious [_] Obsessed with femininity [X] Pointedly unanswered questions [_] Rage against the machine [X] Repetition of a word or phrase to the point of nausea [_] Sanctimonious [X] Self-obsessed [_] Sentimental [_] Smugly-named protagonist [_] Thesaurophilia [_] Untitled [_] Vicarious wish fulfilment -12-

No.

Vivid.

Bumble bee robot was a success! However, this poem is Parvo'd puppy shit twixt polio toes.

Sounds like a bad case of microwaved sodomy.

I could clarify this claptrap with a clairvoyant clang of my clavichord.

What school did you go to? I was at Eton.