awful

That's a swell fever blister.

Yes, so tired and bent they'd bend.

damn I want it.

I think you should change "stop" to go, and all of your "yous" to stop.

Yoda are you Take you to him I will Great anger in me I feel what the hell is up with the transposition of your verbs and subjects? it's annoying and confusing... I mean annoying and confusing it is.. what about Your intricate heart of lace is breaking...or better still... Your heart of lace is breaking... lace is by nature intricate. (2)

Yep, but pray tell? What if I sold my knees last week for twenty five quail eggs and an omellette named 'what was that whistle'?

I can really relate to this. My personal handler frequently touches me in unutterably awful ways, but I am helpless to do anything but electronically moan from my stinking wheelchair. -=10=-

The End was a bit choppier for me than the rest, but I enjoyed it. 8.

like the last line.. 8.

Beautiful, and sad. ~bzb

I'm trying hard to be impartial... probably not possible. Ten.

You make me mad with jealousy. Ten. Ten you bastard. Ten you olympian brain weaver.

Makes me wish there was someone I felt that way about. My life is all sunbathers and surfers - no one is up for volleyball when it gets hot.

I am no poet.. but all your lines suck. Just give me a pen, and cigarette I will be set for life Embrace me in your loving arms and I'll be free from strife. second stanza doesn't work here. Tell me of your troubles I will breathe in my smoke listen to my sad tale as I begin to choke. Share your moments with me I will be full of joy Take my hand lead me home, I am glad that you're my boy. that is...if you have to rhyme. I never do. i just rage.(3) take out some words.

A fine piece. My only note would be, the part about the oak leaves. If you could change that tree and leaf to something more symbolic in nature of the Ocean than an Oak? You'd have a ten. 9.

You are awfully amusing. Read more about the techtonic plates and less about washing dinner plates, because you're being psychologically 101 simplistic and way off. Your rhymes were like leaves through the eaves of summer's sleeves but cleave age plastic surgeon weave ills are forever and hereditary. Join the pagan prince. Or i'll thorn apple the baby fat my groin and wisk you away any way.

Overall, though finely and functionally dressed, there is a sublime quality to the title that isn't quite matched by its wardrobe.\ (I've seen an ivory tiger, but never tiger ivory. How about something like: "blood whiskers, eye-shines, and canines"? )

very nice

What no chorus? Have you seen my bridges? they are well lit and engineered.