Bachus
on some deleted poem
9 Sep 2003, 10:58 AM
Are you ready for our initial push? Tonight after dinner I'll write it. This poem is brilliant by the way. 10.
Long distance relationships suck, don't they?
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
9 Sep 2003, 2:23 PM
Fabulous. 10.
Oh boy! umm I'll take that and a sanewitch, pliz.
Damn...that's one good piece. I'm impressed.
I wonder who she was going to recommend the already 'best poetry site' on the internet too? Perhaps her parrot? I tell you she must be a museheart because she sure isn't a museface. lol
And the champ comes out swinging, with a KO in the first minute!
A touch too thick, but then again this sort of poetry as always been a bit too bland in my book, but thank god I still can find uses for it outside of just writing, so here's a 7.
mama mia
I see you are one of my biggest fans.....Keep watching because it only gets better love. Thanks for being brutal with some of your comments but true talent doesn't need attitude to back it up. I have been writing for years now buddy and just because my stuff isn't structured doesn't mean I don't know what Iâm doing. We have choices to make and with expression that is mainly what it is about. HAVE A NICE DAY :)
Ah the days of the Principia Discordia, the Illuminatus! Trilogy, and The Book of the SubGenius. I think I read them all in one year and it blew my mind wide open.
Have you tried writing prose instead of poetry?
It was bad clams, I tells ya. This could benefit from a punctuation mark somewhere.
I'll give her something to write about.
And I still say you should try writing short stories.
I take it by "pants" you mean trousers? Are you not acquainted with proper English? Nonetheless, a most arousing haiku.
like a haggis to the back of my knee.
I like this. It's much better than your previous poems. I think it could stand for maybe one or two revisions, but all things could stand for one or two more. It's good.
Why is this site infested with so many religeous zealots? If anyone here is thinking of becoming a religeous zealot, please take this advice: read the Bible. Not just selected passages, the whole thing. Honestly, it's completely fucked up. See the verses I posted on "Jesus Speaks to Poemrankers" by Joe-Joe. I can't even give this poem the dignity of a zero. -1-
I like this one too. It's very good. The only thing I didn't like was "Virgin Paper" which is contradictory to the fact that he has already used it...no longer a virgin. And you use the word paper twice within three lines, kind of redundant. Maybe, sheet, would be better in the second placement? I especially liked the last four lines, very nice touch.
Crystal,
Bravo, Bravo..this was really nice. Captures the dilema and emotion (frustration)of the subject very well. Nice, descriptive language. I would reconsider "canvas aids not at all". It's a bit awkward. Also I think you mean inner conflict not inter conflict (Type -o I'm sure). By far your best job. Way to go kiddo!!!