Lifeboatman
on some deleted poem
7 Aug 2003, 12:49 AM
I do not know who proved triumphant in the end... but it is good story telling... 10
quite confusing... but this is said in the point-of-view of a buffoon... 10
a donkey owned by a nymphomaniac... less grand but it works.. 10
like an alphabetical sermont in the mount... 10... though the last line could use a little more z's
Jeeeeeeezus, help me. I liked it. I have an good excuse though. I've had a stroke recently.
Angels have smootch crotches... like maniquins... although a good "lite" read... 7
And you had marred its name... if this is all that we are here to see, I'd rather stick an elephant in my sphincter... Ouch!!!... 0
I voted on it once.. I'll vote on it again.. 10
10... good poem.. realyy good
like an alphabetical sermon on the mount... 10... though the last line could use a little more z's
I really don't know what lycra is but... 8
lot's o' good lines... though I do not see the coherence... maybe I am just dumb (and I am, mind you)... but I see hope... 9
Wierd, First that the poem right next to this is also entitled Angel, I wonder how often that kinda thing happens and second sex with an angel. I'm sorry I know there are lots of pictures of female angels and things but have you ever read about one in any religious doctrine? I haven't. Just wierd kiddo. Beautiful Imagery and well written in my opinion. Also wrong by those standards but whatever. -9-.
Yuck. If I knew the proper spelling of the sound of vomiting I'd do it right now. This poem is so trite that I didn't get past the second line of the 4th stanza. Have you no consideration for others? If this is the kinda of poetry your going to write, stop right now. I mean it. I rarely give zeros, but this deserves one too much. I'll be nice and leave it at where my comment stands. On the bright side at least it shouldn't be too hard to for improvement, cause hopefully not everything you'll write can be this bad. -0-
Damn fine story telling her. The idea of a Drunken Muse, Who inspires inspiration even though its seems like she is just rambling on aimlessly. You've got an instant Classic here. -10-
Fairly nice story telling here. -8-
cmon you damned furry mammal, are you still whining about that old wound of yours?
Its time to move onto some fresh wounds. 7
Good one. I felt just like that once-- a couple of times.
"justed" or "just"?? Nice personification... 8
nice tension... 9