I don't think "the pussy was sorry" is enough of a description of what justified the narrator's slap. More detail, too loose, bad rhythm, too sloppy? Haven't you seen the rhyming bumper stickers? "There is not excuse for domestic abuse"

hahahahah!!! oh, yeah. you nailed it, scitz. bravo.

I had a stalker ex-girlfriend once, too. It is hard to decide what to do about them, at least you made your decision and stuck to it. 9

p.s.--great misspelling in the title!

I like how you've captured the credit card woes in this poem. I think the last 2 lines are really good and tell it like it is, but I would change to "Deep in our hardened hearts of clay,/we alter freedom, the American way". Because who is the "our" in "our American way"? I don't think the oppressed people who are the "we" in this poem should have to identify with or own this American way. I think you were a little too broad in your topics, and though they are all related to oppression, I think you'd do better to capture a smaller piece of this oppression and expand more on it. For example, the languages comment, though legitimate, kind of came out of nowhere and was too much of a statement instead of an exploration, and then the point was made and you moved on to another topic. I think you can do a lot with this piece, even break it into a series of smaller, more detailed poems with the same title for the collection.

Loved it! I usually give folks th pinkie. I don't care enough to send the very best.

Same thing happened to me when I was 18 'cept my VW wouldn't go faster than 55 downhill with a tailwind.

I don't like the (Shakespear). Put it with the misquoted words. That is all.

I liked these 2 lines. "So you will not know that I am hurt, I lie. I speak until my throat is dry."

pets ARE time consuming

"Wrapping can now be used to by migrants" typo there, and here "Ran over four foot women" (unless there were four of these "foot women", instead of a four foot woman). So the narrator is illegally immigrating into Mexico?

Something in this ditty of yours needs possessing and not the gal that the cliched romance is written too. Eh?

Way too much telling and not enough showing. Not that I care to see either of you naked.

Some of the rhymes are a little too easy to anticipate, like fears and tears, etc.

When you're ready to add to this, Keep it up as long as you can. Kill them. Kill them all.

oh I get it you are in jail. Cool idea I know you wanted a change of scene but this is ridiculous

The lines seem too short to be rhymed in an AABBCCDDEE... scheme. Maybe an ABAB CDCD would work better for these short phrases. Reading it made me think that if you read it aloud you'd be breathless by the first ending. I don't really know what the repetition of the poem adds, either.

I always thought of JoyLuck's gender as femal (probably because of the book). I mean that as a compliment, by the way.

Get it! I'm getting quite a lot today

Nice.