NICE Can you look for the drained corpse of that lil bee, museheart, in that web of yours? I cannot find her anywhere.

HAH! 10!

oh, dear. quickly! a glass of amarone for daniella!

my eyes are burning

Always a joy to read your work

I have a greater affinity for pencil sharpener shavings... but this certainly was enjoyable.. 8

ahhh.. burning blood and gore curdles in the mornin for breakfast.. yeah..

Oops, you did it again.

a sea onion?

indecently delectable.. 9

alright, I like the first stanza, but after that it gets kind of confusing and abstract, I'm not sure what you're trying to say-- the trick about haiku is to be both concise and accurate. Good start though.

Also, why post a poem if you cannot respond sensibly to a critique. I raised some striking issues to you about where your poetry is going bad, and you respond like a child. I offer structural suggestions and basically, give you your solution on a silver platter, and a formula to work with to improve your poetry since we share mutual friends, and you insult me and disrespect me, over your half assed heinous mutilation of arachnids? You're a fool. There are people that would pay good money to have me give them a creative boost and share some of my techniques. You should listen to better poets when they share advice, it's the only way to learn, not act like a oversensitive spoiled degenerate, for future reference. The poets life is no place for the sensitive & or the spoiled charity case, my friend, remember that if fucking anything I've said. You can burn that one to your pink little brain old man.

but, the familiar phrases in the middlw of the poem--they spoil it for me. fresh language from you, daniella! these stick: from [perhaps] whence we came. To pitch, roll and yaw. they close the books on this questions won't go away blown off course this one, you twist, to make your own: I'm afraid practice is making perfect pretences. but the others, no, they are too familiar and deaden it for me. sorry.

Possibly the best thing, ever. I deem it the choicest read currently on this swollen whore's hole of a site by far. HA! what a fantastic poem, ha ha holy shit. 11!

this is a wonderfully refreshing read after seeing all the crap views on this site of what makes good poetry

Ha! Cheers.

ah lifeboatman, i told you before, i killed cain!!! he went home a long time ago! ;P 10. wonderfull.. did that chat about cain on irc inspire you?

lol "PoemShootDown" not that catchy you know what you can't expect fuckers to be nice all the time. accept the fucking ridicule it will fade over time. every newbie goes thru this little phase of being picked out. GET OVER IT! and why do you care about what jobless fuckers who check the comments list every 5 seconds of therif life think about your peoms!!!!!! write for yourself. even if i think your peotry sucks, but you keep writing i will respect you. and i'm sure others will too. oh yeah btw go fuck yourself too

well this is fresh, innocent, and sweet. and i'm not going to rank it. instead, i'll keep my eye on you.

Wowzer--truly excellent.