Is this a cryptic message to your forsakenbro? I aspire to breathe and secrete garlic through my very pores with the best of the extra garlic hummus eaters of this earth.

And those stupid fucking ~ ~ curly things sure doesn't fucking help your case, nor does your inventive way of spelling tom or when you wrote it (date time etc) unless you're dead or moonlighting from politics.

this is up to par with a couple of others in our ranks... you should be honored to be honed so low

Brit, please now.. dont be such a sensitive bitch.. like horus said, dont write for us.. write for yourself, and when we slam it into a wastebasket, come back and write better, but dont write just to please us.. thats pointless, and will make me piss on your head even more. ok?

you smell, and that is all we can tell

Right on Brittany! Some people are extremely RUDE. Email me, I'll put you on to sites where ANY writing is appreciated. Thom Babyb00mer@aol.com

What is this piece of shit about? I think you found one of those tainted cans of rotten imported fish from the 1970s. If that is not the case, email me, I'll send you some for dinner. Honest man

Solidarity amongst pimples of all colors! Except for those big swollen red ones, those are untouchables.

The rhythm seems very lyrical, whether intended or not, but then the quality is broken abruptly with these longer lines. Maybe I've been reading too much rhyming poetry. But the words and images are a great start, just seem to need a little rearranging.

web footed surely

This is so beautiful and exact, it reminds me to miss fall and winter in Maine even more. Who are these wimps who can't handle the cold? I say bring it on. This lousy "vacationland" sunshine is giving me seasonal affective disorder. 10

well, thom got sucked dry from horus8 the eight legged spider, and i smile wider in laughter, splashing in water, a child gone astray, named stinky! hehe. great job. 8.

Awesome. I like it all, but these lines " keep well refrigerated, yet awakening too. If I can keep my temper down and your tolerance high. The mess will be worth cleaning up." are perfect. 10

I can see the form you wanted but even if the set-up had come out as wished, I still would have been lost. Is it memory taking you by the hand?And why down lover-lit parks? I want to know more about the parks significance.

richa, despite the spcing issue you mention, this is the most evocative of the versions i have seen. my 2 nit picks: the word "just"--just so useless. it's not there for the meter--try it wothout, you might like it better. "a thin presence of soot."--since you named it "memories of paris', you could use this part of the poem to swing your poetic axe on home. parallel the "memories" with 'remind'--'burnt out to a sooty reminder, a thin presence'...etc. just my suggestions. it's what i wish i could see between the lines that i miss the most in your poems. this is the fullest i've seen from you, next to 'the drowning line'. thanks forlistening.

1. what does dew smell like? Precisely 2. Do you ever get the feeling that you're losing your grasp on the difference between too, and to, and two? 3."When I wake up in your bed I know I have been dreaming". probably the most uninteresting observation I've ever had the disservice of witnessing. Congratulation. Somehow I get the feeling you're just a tiger in the sack, grrrrr. lol. [some number I've forgotten between 1 and 10 oh, 4.]"As the light collided with walls Hurting and cutting me deep" Jesus homer are you onto some bulbs we're all missing? just maybe. 5. "But tonight the sky is dark" Another brilliant observation. You would be a great babysitter you could be like "well, the child was young and small"? well yeah? 6."And I had kissed you with my eyes Holding you tightly with my breath" David Copperfield, I will have you know, is cackeling at you, along with me, Jesus, The Devil, Carl Jung, and Castro(?). In other words, Thom, you could make Hallmark cry, but please spare me the trouble of making you cry, by belittling your most inappropriate attempts at poetry I've seen in weeks. Enjoy this and put it over your mantel. 'THEE MOST HONORABLE AWARD OF MERIT IN THE ART OF BEING INCONCEIVABLY REDUNDANT WITH EXTRAORDINARY GLEE IS BEQUEETHED UPON THEE AND YOU'S AND YOURS' Be blessed sir, there's a poet in you somewhere. Perhaps you should go watch hamburger hill and get those juices flowing, because sir, your poem was shat.

eh... wtf. ok.. not sure what this is even sposed to be buts its stupid nontheless.

hmm. 7.

nice. I like "lover-lit parks".

Like the addition(?) of "After so long in the swamp". 9