Bill Z Bub
on some deleted poem
6 Jul 2003, 7:06 AM
Okay, now THIS is great stuff! Ten.
funny. happy 4th.
Didn't settle do this poem like, last year?? 0
the first 4 lines are great, though. do something more with that.
"Are we there yet?"
lol.. yeah. still have wierd thoughts that i am settle? i hope not after looking at the ips, because then id start to feel like alice in wonderland, where i dont know who i am or where i am. nice poem, heres a 10.
It's almost like you don't get that shock humor has no humor without the shock value. You and others like you have burnt out the shock of such things so much that even when I'm fearing my up coming test for HIV your AIDS comments don't even phase me. Why don't you give a break and let us resensitize and then you can come in and be the glorious god of shock humor you imagine yourself to be.
'the dead are unborn' well summed up
lots of things to make you think here
This poem kinda doesnt make alot of sense...Nice job anyways though..
Some of it just...Ahh forget it..Its OK...
Riiiiiiight........
I can't even bring myself to respond any how, so don't sweat it.
Woah.
Yeah, more.
While I have some semblance of the context, it doesn't colour the fact that I think the pithiness and tone of the work, as well as the rhyming quatrain in the second stanza, are delightful and giddy in its haughtiness. I particularly enjoy the use of breaking the sentence between the two stanzas.
Certainly an enjoyable piece with or without knowledge of the context.
One of your best.
fit me like a miracle?
Last two lines are ok. Evokes thoughts of drowning
Ha!
While I don't necessarily object to adaptation (some of the finest poems have been birthed in such a fashion), there ought to be some effort put into the finished product. I see little evidence of such. No enjambment, no typographical changes. For all I know, you could have very well copy-and-pasted this from a web page. What's the difference between this and plagiarizing Shakespeare, Milton, Ginsberg, or Atwood?
you can't just say leaden like that and have it mean only one thing! what about x-ray? and alchemy?
damn it, man! are you getting lazy!!!????