DreamerSupreme
on Gems of love, stones of war by Shardik
6 Jul 2003, 12:06 PM
Now this love poem is... refreshing.. love poems needed a spice, a tune up... damned good mechanic you are. 9.
... Your a media critic now? lol. heres an 8.
Space ice cream on a graham cracker
Marmalade on wheat toast hot black coffee.
Yep, I love this poem.. muse did some strange whine on my poetic soup comments section about not wanting to vote because of his/hers work being mutilated.. and when i saw this, i laughed my ass off in joy.. blessed with a 10, good fucking job!!!
Damn good. Very descriptive and well worded. blessed with 10.
Man... are you going to make songs that dont sound like the same shit ive heard a million times?
Hey hey, not bad at all. ;) Gave me a smile. Blessed with 9.
Being shocking and poking fun is something i enjoy seeing, but you have to see when your doing more than being shocking or humoristic. Its good to be able to tell if you have crossed the line or not. Good work btw, blessed with 8.
Well.. im not being mean, remember this, im rating on quality: 4. Heres a few tips:
Dont _ the cursing, its just not needed.
Be more descriptive about how he is an asshole instead of saying "your an asshole"
You played me like a trick - not descriptive enough in this case. Btw, forcing rhyme by using other words that do not fit well in the line isn't a good idea.
Also, try to use an more expanded vocabulary.. it helps. www.webster.com is a very effective tool for this.
Good luck with your poetry.
Over all i enjoyed the poem, but i think the piece before ...death is confusing to a point.. or thats my opinion anyway. heres a 7.
Written nicely.. but its really not original.. the same cliches are here that i find in almost 70% of love poems.. heres a 5.
Again, unoriginal. 5.
The ending is alot better than your original, good work. 10 ;)
lol. ;D This one really tickles my funny bone, its something im sure to remember forever. Blessed with 9.
I sense some internal personalization occuring. lol.
damn.. i cant say anything else.. 10.
Its like painting a scene with words. You really got the juices boiling today aye? 10.
Nice twist.
Smart poem.