horus8
on the rules by XangryXblondeX
22 Jun 2003, 1:07 PM
Nice wig
SupremeDreamer
on Playing Russian roulette with a tuna cassarole By JFK by horus8
22 Jun 2003, 9:45 PM
Extremely amusing, I started to cry when I found it hard to stop laughing. Slightly confusing though, or maybe thats just me. blesed with an 8, go in peace.
Absolutely poetry at it's best
Interesting :) -10-
That's supreme dreamimg. I fell asleep three times and I just injected amphetamines. I could squash this into a haiku, and say more for your observations, notice.
A supreme dream w/extra sourcream and a diet tab
An Haiku by Errr Ah, Well-when-it-comes-to-me-I'll get-back-with-you. I know it's a mouthfull but hey, that's Hawaians for you.
Thanks mom & dad, but
How long is this going to take?
If you love me leave.
Keep lines 1-10. Go directly to line 20, leaving out 'so' at the beginning of the line. Go directly to 'it's killing him'
That's a fairly good poem. Can't you see all the other lines sound like a telephone conversation between to imbeciles? No one, and I mean no one, is ever going to be interested in reading those kind of un-important conventionalisms. IT'S BORING, a huge waste of time and will turn off your audience. It's like meeting this really interesting looking guy and then you walk over to him and he opens his mouth and turns out to be a milk-toast whiner self-involved bore.
Tedium. That's what I'm talking about, TEE DEE EM. Strip the poem of it, This is the only thing I've seen of any worth from anyone besides the usual suspects. Come back witht he revision and then you can work on turning this into one basic good poem.
TENNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is incredible beautiful emotional and I hope you all end up sitting on a parsnip. Preferably the same parsnip.
AND before you all forget that this is a poor attempt to imitate maria, blade and all the other truly shite poets on this site I am giving it a magnificent vote in order to make it rise up off the bottom like dark angel's cock.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Wow! Depth, and Rhyme, Worked out seemlessly. True still a few cliche lines but over all, Nice. Best I've read by you so far. -9-
Well written, but seems more a lyric to me(or at least thats how I imagine it). -8-
Sounds like another molested Denny's breakfast. I would suggest a grammar & spelling check, because there are a few minor problems, in every line.
you have talent. thats all i can say.
This is shit!
This is shit!
Freddy's Back!
I found much enjoyment with this poem, great work. ;)
Reminds me of battles ive fought.. yes.. the scars still hurt. I give it a 7, good imagery and expression, but it could use a little more imagination I think.
Hi John
Indeed they do.
I LOVE IT... *drool*