JackCrawley
on some deleted poem
1 Apr 2003, 11:31 AM
You turn a mean phrase. Well done.
I'm sure you already know what this poem is.
wow, I love it!! 9 :)
:) I'll give you a :)
i was reading this and going "wow this is extremely good" but then i hit the last stanza and im afraid my wowing quit. the last stanza doesnt make much sense and it doesnt fit the rest of the poem....8
my first clue that this might not rock my world was that the title was spelled wrong...and i dont know, its okay, but it just seems like more of the "oh poor suicidal me lets see if i can cut myself deeper and feel better" crap that im getting sick of. plus you spelled several things wrong. however, your rhyme scheme is pretty good, its not too incredibly forced, and you do have several really good lines in there. i bet that with a little rewriting this could be extremely awesome...for now...5
I enjoyed it like deja vu.
DIE THEN AT LEAST THEN,THEN IT SHALL BE OVER YOU IMMATURE PASSION FLOOZY THAT YET HAS EVRYTHING TO LEARN OF LOVE.
HERE MY DARLIN IS A HINT
no true love is one way, nor a compition,ROMANTIC LOVE is built up over time.
It is also a posistive,there is no love in being dead.
BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BORED NOW
lame,why did we bother
8
Jesus loves a sinner?
The movie 'Porn Star,' the story of a certain hedgehog, is now in a theater near you, SMBY.
Stop IT. PLEASE. You religious freaks are killing me with your hideous writing. Oh my, I melting, I'm melting. Did you make it through primaries? But Katie likes it and Ranger. Whoo-hoo. We are looking for Blue's Clues cuz it's really fun.
Awwww, Katie. How sad. You hang in there girl.
Let's see. We have wasted time on at least 49 poems involving this very subject. Can't you add something new? It's unoriginal. It has already been written on this site. Find a new angle. Poop in a basket. Poop in Paris. Just do it with flair.
Pretty weak. Satire or not.
-8-
I'm sorry, this is painfully bad.
Actually could someone explaine to me what is Haiku? I'm not sure how the patterens for them go. But blind I'm not going to rate you since I don't know the patterens for Haiku, but I do like them :)
2 much suicidal crap in poetry, try something new.Still you inspired me 2 write make me smile.A good first go.Dont be so obvious with it.