kthulah
on some deleted poem
1 Apr 2003, 10:41 AM
Hmmmm...I like this one better.
Very nice...
A mixture of coherent images with ambiguous and images that seem to stray from the central theme. Plus, the commas are in odd places and many seem unnecessary.
Jolly good fun indeed. One could believe he actually wrote this. Be careful not to forget to come out of character.
Oh dear.
Oh my giddy Aunt Blythe, your certifiable.
This seems more like some young attempt to desperately try to say something deep and profound to make the reader shutter in awe. But as a haiku it really says nothing much. Look to the origins; find the eastern spirit of the form. This just mocks it. But, hey, who needs Shakespeare, eh?
Let us pray that you get what you want. Do you write of anything remotely interesting?
Interestingly enough you almost have the formula right.
As I recall Elvis did sing 'Fever' with the Eden Perry band but thats another nut to polish. My dear spring truly is in the air, its in my step too after reading this. If you require my aid to spring you please call me on 0898-659-137698 : ask for Laurence.
More of a statement than a haiku. I suggest a good read of the form and its purpose. No put the Nora Roberts book down! Now!
Found this hard PAKI. I have done the 5-7-5 thing and I wouldn't exactly say I was looking to say something profound I was just experimenting. The last line referes to the Old Testament which I find interesting because thats when God and Lucifer were both in heaven before our old pal Satan got kicked out for being rather handsome (amongst other things). Lines one and two were just set pieces for the ending, and irony and a possibility.
Thanks for the civil tongue, How would you do it please reply?
This poeme was the written equivalent of saltpeter. Dampened my libido for what may be several hours. Boo. In the meantime, lick this zero.
La de da de da de de, da de da de de da do
Too much 'He'
This one hits me where it's tender. I like it :)
I think the last line is wonderful. They are not easy these darned Haiku's. I see there is still no love lost between you and poetanknowit.
It is beautiful...but...It seems unfinished.
I like it :)