love is a turkish prison. however the romantic side of me can dig this, but you got the devil beating the shit out of my angel in this shoulders war i'm having 7

Cack and shite I think you should concentrate your efforts on your office junior.

Monkey see, monkey doo doo.

pimm pull

now i must go 'underseas'

you lose it a bit from : and what hurts, there is repetition, otherwise the sentiment has its heart in the right place 6

Thank you for taking the time in commenting on my stuff. This poem needs loads of work, but I am impressed by the passion you show in here, you just need to get it into persective, condense the poem, make it breathe, you are stifling all of that by trying to force too much on the reader. Try again, good luck.

I always worry about poets typing in caps there either really pissed off about something or they really mean what there saying. Chill Pill Daffodill.

A real pagan, you belong to the earth, this is one of those poems i bet you wrote in the moment spontaneously. you wrote it well

when the fuck will we ever learn? hey ? huh? love is the assassin of happiness espeicially firstlove, love hurts like a pair of brand new shoes, move on, shag her sister regardless of what sex you are.

Being a rhyme obsessive myself I have recently calmed the whole rhyme thing down and gone for imagery. I think ZZinnia has made the one point you should listen too. I think your quite talented but this dont really do anything for me and I blame the 1st line, the rest of its okay but okay isn't what you do normally, is it? (6)

Oh yeah, the vegas thang is all wrong go to Camp David and sell dictionarys to the democrats, do something about George 'Dubya'. I'll pay you.

A bit of a shocker this one. I think saying less on a subject of war says so much more at the moment because everyones a bit paranoid, concerned and disgusted and i for one feel so many thoughts, opinions, emotions inside about this damn war and your haiku says all it needs too, a diary of the times and no hint of patriotism (I am not saying you are not by the way) , smoke this: 8

Behold, the man with the acid tongue !

tease me, tease me, tease me, tease me, tease me, When i lose control.. ..... . . .. sorry that song seemed to come into my head conjured up by this salacious number, this is sexy Z, i like to think of you blushing, do you blush? I doubt not. and those late night blue electronic screens -- tut tut wel done now i am off to rent 'two moon junction' and some 1980's mickey rourke movie, homer dribbling and crate of duff and all the trimmings 9

but will you come to connecticut?

you really should of known. hahahaha!!!!!!!! white sheet. HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

This cracked me up, and a rhyme scheme that flows complimenting this poem. My fave line is the trailer park thing, but you could appease horus by saying anna nicole smith was the effigy? confligeration: good choice of word

atomic hopefull's - apt, very apt

shit.