didnt kind of have the flow, bit too predictable. -5-

Oh, this lovely thing again. For some reason whenever you post a revised version of a poem I almost always feel I preferred the original. In this case, the 'Rosebud roseblood rosewater' -- which is damn right gorgeous. Has that part changed since you put it up?

bumtastic.

Would i lie to you baby would i lie to you? oh yeah ?

Your a true wordsmith BZB

42? my guess is this about the columbia but 42 wasnt the angle they were supposed to fly in at, put us all out of our misery as i will forget next week to re read it, liked it though but it would help to know why i liked it 7=

liked the opening it really grabbed my attention and this ones a sticker. 8

Nice... but is the "He" of the second stanza the same as the "You" of the first and third? If not I don't understand what's going on and if so why the change from second person to third? Other than that I loved it. 8 as is.

Wasn't Byron lame and portly? Don't get me started on Chaucer.

Have you seen the Secretary? There are a couple of typos, but overall... i felt a connection to the piece.

Now, now, we just don't talk about joe blades.(did you know he has a radio show?) Anyway, back to chanting...

The end of civilisation is nigh. I name you the prophet of this death. May Shakespeare have mercy on us when he, Marlowe, Poe and Nabokov are resurrected and come to judge us all. I'd almost prefer to go read some Atwood. Or Joe Blades. Or some such shite.

That's an odd coincidence, ==doylum. I was just watching Bill & Ted's excellent adventure. I like the freud jokes best.

Incidentally, "your" isn't interchangeable with "you're". "Thru" isn't a real word. The word you're looking for in Stanza 3 line3 is "aback". Stanza 4 line 3 should be "anything", not "any thing". Stanza 4 line 1, "it's" not "its". Stanza 4 line 2 "would have knew" makes no fucking sense. Stanza 5, line 3, "that's" not "Thats". All that and you need to use commas properly. And the poeme doesn't scan for crap. Finally, it's just bad. No subtlety or metaphor, just emoting, which is dull. I will read the Bardo Thodol for your uncle and hope he will be free from samsara. gate gate panagate....but still a zero for the living.

"state of selfhood"? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Seriously, though, your eloquent and moving use of "you" to rhyme with "you" shall surely put you solidly into our grand poetic tradition. You may even dethrone shakespeare! One thing, though: wouldn't the touch of someone's eyes be all squishy and gooey? Not to mention painful for the other person. Lastly, leave God out of this poeme. I asked the big guy, YH-to-the-VH about you and he said, "Never heard of her." Then he fell back asleep. However, the archangel Jibreel did say that you deserve a zero for this lump of solidified porcupine smegma. Who am I to defy divine will

to the earth they did rescind? ohho wooohoho Like dust in the wind dude excellent so-crates!!!

Peritonitis, no doubt.

i like it

Drow?

how many mariannes or monikers is that now? You are greedy minus the a. Still fighting?