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on Shark by cleverdevice
13 Jan 2003, 8:37 AM
funny.
they won't grow. they're made of paint, you silly goose! (just kidding) a valliant attempt! an 8.
sent to bed with no dinner, eh? staring out the window? this speaks to me that way. nicely done!
Consider it a clash of styles, but it seems like you've used a lot of words to say very little.
decnt poem, could possibly use more concise images.
sounds troubled--like a therapy poem. I hope you are feeling better, but you should keep therapy poems to yourself--too often thet sound exactly like this and come across as trite.
you know, this is a keen observation. you definitely waste your skill when you spew that other crap. why not work on refining your vision?
you know the egyptians wore them like jewels, right?
Deutschland, Deutschland uber alles...
Above the waist she's pretty, but she's got too much junk in her trunk. I think the main thing is the editing. I've read some very good things but they're drowning in butter, and I can't appreaciate the subtlities. Perhaps it is just a matter of taste.
I am terminally confused. What exactly does it mean to hae "pulled"? It seems like it may be something sinister and remarkably Andrew Dice Clay oriented. I cannot give this a high score.
I like it on many levels--it seems to speak to days i've had. Bravo. a 9.
intersting commentary. I like how it feels like a game of pick-up sticks--powerful words thrown together--touching each other with a mix of order and chaos.
there is a sadness here that permeates the sarcasm. nicely done.
mimickry may have been seen as high flattery to Elvis--but of course he wore a white studded jumpsuit and did a lot of drugs. Perhaps this was an attempt at respect for -=Dark Angel=-, bvut I think you've failed, and now you look like a fat guy in a jumpsuit with a mullet and sideburns.
nicely done. solid 9.
I can't wait until you publish--let me know when you do so I can buy your book.
Genius - BRAVO SIR! I salute you, and compliment you on the quality of your gravy (do you use Bisto, perchance?)!!!!!
chilly. very nicely done!
certainly unique.
I like the first half a lot.