Bobjim
on The Sadistic Mirth by Freethinker1602
2 Jan 2003, 8:28 AM
Pian? surely pain. sorry, but it did kinda ruin it. Redo it and you get a 9. as it is, a well deserved 8.
I couldn't breathe cause of your balls last night. I keep telling you, I can't swallow 10 inches.
I was grinning like an idiot reading this - my boss thought i was looking at porn
any poem that starts out "oh baby" is hard to take seriously.
Death as a sin, interesting.
Hey Intransit, how's it going? I
ve been out of circulation for a while due to losing my job etc etc and having no computer - I'm reduced to using an Internet cafe. But glad to see you're continuing your quest for truth'n'beauty and all that. Keep it coming.
I'm surprised to see you've taken down some of your Greatest Hits - why o why? This keeps the good work going though. I can't agree with p&k on this because I like the mythical archetype used here (though the couplet about Lady/Knight I can't quite swallow).
This gripped me like a hangmans noose. Horus this is captivating, Did you write this non stop in some kind of emotional spontaneous combustion? The relationship with your father made the pips in my adams explode **FUCK*** this was one work where the reader is consumed by the subjects in the story, my initial reaction was 'shit its a long one' but like a good book you can't put it down.
When your hearts open horus your one of the best on this site. I dont think you need to be affected by comments on your poems, do not react other than in your writing that is your gifted forte.
I respect this work, its up their with the one you wrote about your children, yet this shows you as the son, the man, and the kindred spirit you have no choice in being. Your work is an illustration of darkness but the clarity in the way you tell it makes it shine, pardon the cliches but a poetic synopsis of your work is apt for a piece as honest and reflective as this.
This is your Golden Q Tip award for showing a side of man most conceal =======10======= (like you probably give a fuck)
WOW SORRY TO SEE YOU GO AFTER ONLY A WEEK OR SO. YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S BEEN POETIC KNOWING YOU. URF DUH 5. Horus8 told me alllll about you fatty!!!!!!!!!
Ahh the vote manipulation is in full swing again 7 tens and 4 zeros it makes about as much sense as Bill Clinton smoking a ciger from his mouth ! well my ranger friend of young inspired genius, you are a gifted whippersnapper and i pledge thee a 10 and you have entered the top 15 (probably for about 5 mins until someone sas gets all his sexually redundant, handsomely challenged, buttfucking friends in his circle to vote you to the abyss os poemranker.
Hey who gives a fuck dude this is good everyone knows it
how does the title relate?
More telling than showing, but not half bad anyway.
The "tundra" line seems to not qite fit for me. Good start otherwise. Plenty of material for moulding here.
This is decent. Some nice structure here. Have any poems that are not so personal to you?
Original, well done
Not too bad but book should be replaced by endless lines that frown upon mankind, but its your baby, think you should play around with this it could be VERY good instead of well - good ! heres a 7
Isn't this an affliction we all have?