Bill Z Bub
on some deleted poem
1 Jan 2003, 9:11 AM
Heh heh.
you said horny huh hhuh huhh
Someone had too much to drink. Can't handle your liquer, D.A. ?
Don't drink and write.
MARRY ME!! FIZZ FIZZ CRACKLE (SOUNDS OF ICECUBES CLINKING ETC.)
I assumed you were dead in my poem about roy. Sorry dewd. Did you have Oh levels or what?? Did you show the administrator of the Oh levels your Oh face? Oh, Oh, Ohh
Wonderful, beautiful, brilliant, nearly made me cry. In fact, I laughed so much I'll give you a wonderful 1
You rule.
"too tired to write . . . Burns?"
Welcome aboard, sir. You know what needs to be with this piece. Suggestion: Look up Christofs'
"To a sculpter".
Go back to the cabin and get more material. This could be stretched nicely.
That happens to me every friggin' year. I never plan ahead.
When will I learn?
Ia! Ia!
Azathoth!
Azathoth!
Hmm, this isn't bad at all. Have you actually set this to music, because some of the lines don't quite fit with a rhythm, and I wondered whether this was deliberate. Anyway, not bad, I liked the last verse. 7
Ha ha ha
Ever listen to Counting Crows?
Good, good, needs to be a lyric. I actually like this-some silly sod's given it a four, so I'll up my vote to a nine.
I'll put a tune to it some time if you want.
Why do you feel the need to copyright this? And why do you need question marks in front of you copyright? Why?
Wasn't she writing about you Settle?
No, this is really good. The line, "a few chosen words with the warmth of May" is brilliant.
How about somethinglike "The wonder of her eyes/Will always hypnotise/I'm trapped inside her gaze/Caught in her subtle ways/My defences soon break/The world becomes opaque" to go after the first two lines of the last stanza.
That being said, it works without. Anyhoo, happy new year you all people.
Fair enough, I was just curious. Um, I don't mean to sound like I'm nitpicking here, but should the first line have an extra word before " ...so much"? Still, not a bad poem.