some deleted user
on some deleted poem
1 Jan 2003, 4:12 PM
hmm....confusing, but good
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
1 Jan 2003, 4:17 PM
hmm....disturbing and sad, sorry to hear that
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
1 Jan 2003, 4:12 PM
hmm....confusing, but good
The film is better.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
1 Jan 2003, 4:19 PM
Sounds like you need a man, i know just the one, ;)
Great potential. Very sexual, great, that's what you're talking about anyway. 'Touching her halo' Is this a part of her body, or a something mystical? Please don't make a real woman into a goddess, let her be real. Take away her halo, and I believe all the rest becomes that much more meaningful. It's just my opinion, and since I really no nothing about the story behind this I may be all wrong. Anyway it turned me on.
Oh yes...damn, need to change my trousers again har har.
cut vertically, not horizontally for a quicker bleeding. did you mean for this poem to be unspecific and universal? it's pretty good. 7
yep...thats new years eve...WONDERFUL description...10
i like the repetition, would be awesome to hear somebody read this...8
wow...its good...but its almost too subtle, i can't quite see the story, but i love what i see so far...7
its rhythm is somewhat messed up...makes reading it kind of jerky...4
This site is really turning into one big in-joke, innit?
interesting...but not quite my idea of a subject for a poem...5
I think using what speaks to you, is an important key to creating art. These seem to be the voices in your head, that's a tool I like to use me, that voice. Put this away and work on it. By what I can gather you are going through a powerful moment, I for one would love to see art that can express such feelings, but there is still too much anger, so put it away. It has its humor, and that adds a little kindness to it, but then the moment looses all it's dignity.
Yummy.
I'm sweating here.
IT DOSENT RHYME, AGHHHHHH! i really didnt like this the first time i read it but when u told me what it was about it all feel into place! its actually really deep! tr??s impressed!
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
1 Jan 2003, 4:20 PM
ewwww, you were raped in an elevator?! you need help.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
1 Jan 2003, 4:23 PM
who can this be about? i wonder
what exactly is being asked? but its sort of a double edged sword isn't it? if you take it, you'll feel regret and if you don't the same regret remains. so what to do?