An excellent and thought-provoking piece. Poor Little Johnny; poor brainwashed Little Johnny. Should someone tell him his seven virgins were all fucked by Bin Laden? And that Allah is really pissed. Not enough body bags filled with the bloody remains of innocent Jewish children. Allah Akbar indeed! A nine by my reckoning.

cheers. i can't give it a ten because of the sensitive nature of it 'all', but precise writing.e

i could almost feel myself going outside with you, but then i realized i left a window open. either way, you still provided my one enjoyable moment for today.

Such great taste in music that this is indeed NUMBER ONE in the charts! Top of the Pops is a pile of steaming horseshit. Sorry, did I say that out loud?

hey now, is this about me...if so, thank you.

almost there, maybe add another beginning sentence for 'setting' than space, then stanza, sentence close.

"she" is me

lovely...10 How can anyone give this poem anything below an 8 beats the hell out of me.

I looked at this last night quickly (but won't score or comment when sauced and saucy) and it seemed cleaner. Did you repost? S1: If you see, aren't you taking notice? (Do you really have yews? Not a tree I see a lot.) Is it really a slither you hear? Not a scurry or a scamper or something less "slitherous"? That's such a reptilian word, not one of furry beasts on cold, dry nights. S3--what is the suffering unseen in daylight? I don't think a crunch can be lacy, though the dirt can be. Love honeycombed. S4: s/b "bouquet." Like the oatgrass. Don't think "ethereally" works--actually, I'd drop the line and leave the stalks standing unaugmented. Also, "another night" seems to cry for a "but not this night." Dancing in the drought--meh. Blue-lit labyrinths draws me in, but I don't think it needs the center so explicitly. Pare, prune, tighten.

i'm on the fence here, because i believe in what you are saying, but i don't know that it work in this form. i believe that animals are sentient, and suffer. i believe that factory farming dehumanizes us, as much as it disregards the value of life. i see the yellow-crated chicken trucks going by, full and unsheltered at 75 mph in this cold, and i realize that this is not considered unkind. i look around a little--do some reading, and i become a vegetarian for a few years. i lapse, and justify it as 'acknowledging that i am part of the food chain.' and i used to be against hunting. now, i feel like it's the most humane way to get meat. i just don't like to think about it. no one does. but there must be a way to be what i am without contributing to the suffering. please tell me there is. there is, isn't there?

Interesting but hard to really define your intent or meaning. Perhaps expound a bit more though OK as is. I do like narrative poetry and this is a seven. And please,.... don't tell me you didn't inhale.

Bravo--good for you, Quarton! I like that you didn't make of this an abstraction--it's almost as graphic as it should be. Of course some will classify you as one of the "nuts on the fringe" for it, because that, after all, is the standard unthinking response to anything morally inconvenient. Take an ethical stance on anything, especially here in A-Murka where everything's a commodity, and you must be some kind of whack-job ('Oh, but the bibble gave man dominion over the animals, so who are you to say we shouldn't bludgeon, shock, bleed, slice, torture, slit, and anyway, I don't want to think about it . . .") Gandhi was right--"You can judge a society by the way it treats its animals." Fix your typos.

But, for now i turn back. Because, we know you're there (home) from the begining...and i'm really prejudice lately against the turning towards home at the end of a poem...i love you regardless though, and believe in your writing with or with out. It's just my insecurities breathing down my mullet.

Is this an attempt at looking back? Or just some tabloid titilation? You made the whole thing up, just for flash.

i think doctor suess was doped up enough originally. he's to the world of books what ozzy is to the world of music.

well since i'm down with that italian bink, i'll be moving on...to better things and this was nice.

this was a great read. loved it two things.....typo early on become HAS TO BE FIXED, and i would love it more if machines was singular instead at the end...machine. that would be 'heavy'. i'll wait to vote.

Get some sleep.

my dad tells me this haiku every year on my birthday.

this is why i don't wear underwear...