I like the part bout moving together like parallel tracks...really nice idea

...signed. Some time after never...

YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!! i need to build an amusement park as well

i love operas big time, but this is a free verse, not a haiku, but close (not really)..since i liked the topic i'll push you 'over five' and call it six.

if you call that setting the words free, i'd hate to see where they were being held.

the pain and sorrow of a truck driver...but hey I thought they were plenty of hookers at Exxon...8

Um, really, REALLY good. You could teach me about how to find a beat. I dont want to spoil this for others so I'll just score

love is just an over-rated morning sickness that creates nothing but loss and insecurities, and honestly true 'pure love' is sought out at all times, on all levels by evil forces. to be corrupted, like MOTHs TO the LIGHT, love attract more trouble than good, because it has to be constantly tested by the individual out of fear that it might not be real or there. love is constantly ruined by overthinking, as every clear sky is doomed to eventually storm up, only to be even clearer the next day ironically. love doesn't evolve. it has just always been, but we evolve away, way faster, unable to hold onto so much at that rate of speed we lose grip, and it slips away like a hat out the window on a desert highway, you watch it get smaller and smaller in your review mirror remembering how well it felt and fit, and all the compliments you got on it tsk. tsk.love is easier kept folded up tight, and stored with your mind and spirit to be processed and stripped to its actual purpose and point forever, there, to be recapitulated at will. whenever you need strength just use your sense memory and go back to it like you never left it, because you didn't. see? it was an illusion of skin and death and jealousy with pride. keeping you from the you that might of been? silly. you still are. because we are not forever, and dealing with that fact directly on every level will show you just what secret meaning love actually serves in the universe (because it's so in front of your eyes you always miss it). a relieving lubricant for the inevitable deterioration into spirit, what is spirit you might ask? well i tell you this. it doesn't move on after your body is ash saying to itself, "damn i really loved that body, why oh lordie? why must all things seperate? to fucking come back together tighter and brighter! only to seperate once again then come back together (the man, the woman, gender split, one to two from two you get one [baby]?) 'a pulse', the spirit rejoices 'no fool' to move forward without dragging all of that unecessary baggage with out, what would it do with all of it's different loves throught its physical existence (timed life?) anyway in outer space, or heaven, or wherever in the fuck the latest paradise might be that's been contrived by the new and hot corporate religion, or pathetic old ones inoperably spitting out war and land claims bah. what what will it do when it gets there? whip out its photo album and have a fucking moment?! ha ha! whatever helps you sleep at night lonely boy. so, when and if you find love again. hold it tight and fucking RUN!

The "madness" stanza trips some how between wall and door? Close to perfection ,I'd say.

i remember this. how you might ask?. love.

for some odd reason I like the cheezy poem...but then again I love Celtic cheese...ahhhh....if you scratch my back I'll give you an oz.

I would change the last two lines...too many uses of "both"...other than that...quite good...9

"contented" really? what are you now, contenting?

Dan garcia-Black should take up writing short stories. Was that you driving the tractor down Fairfax just outside Canter's? Pick me up a prune danish please.

This is dreadfully over the top. What ever beauty may be here is lost among the gawdy weeds. "More vibrant than the cascadings hues of dementia"?! What the...? Vibrant dementia? Cascading dementia? Hues of dementia? At this point it seems you just love to hear yourself talk. "Unchecked by the plague of human frailty"? Unchecked by sense you mean. And it's not even finished you have accomplished saying abosulety nothing in more words then I thought possible. I met a girl she was beuatiful, we slept together and I got scared. I ran away I hope she comes to me because I don't have the balls to go back to her. Spit it out already, it seems to have poisoned you.

Once again a universal theme thwarted by lack of story. How did you stubble upon these revalations? that's what you need to be writing down. How you feel or what philosophy you have developed is only the theme, which because we all share these insights is a very boring read. Give me the account of what happened, I was not there, and so am interested in your experience. I am not interested in you telling me how you feel, but what caused you to feel. What dream? I want to know your dream, not your evaluation of it

you ever notice people with no sense of humor aren't <funny> it's caused by a recessive gene due to inbreeding and academia injected 'idealations', the style you're mimicking is a 'code' invented to teach the reader using a mode of symbolic regurgitations inspired by a thought than a notion into idea into written word thus spoken 'it' becomes. exists..for a single but 'every day' purpose, being the dot to dotting, the layering,the connecting of filaments, tissue, elements.. to be assembled than named 'the great bringing', so by using ones senses, both mentally and physically <spiritually fueled with curiosities, insatiable> you correspond symbols with the names at a rate uncalculable and secret <the formula that god used to bring things into being> biochemical process that the mind uses to decide. But [since] you choose not decide on anything other than your 'sad' attempt at criticizing against the value of this particular 'style'. ironically by taking the time to write about it at all only strengthens its validity, so thanks for helping me decide on just how i feel about your attempt. <i don't>.

i would of gone with necks crack instead, and the end fucking monkey wrenches it? you're on the war path kicking ass and taking names the whole first stanza, and half of the second, 'exposing the grand facade, and then what do you do? sleep? so tired? no you're not! your build up is showing me the opposite of that, you're 'aware' and that is not tired and sleepy.. jesus fucking christ..[now i must sleep by staying awake, now i don't sleep, for you. now], FUCK IT, WHATEVER? hey, but ranger called it "brilliant" so it must be indeed..a brilliant fucking bluff.

Right, right - uni bomber manifesto translated into alian enlightenment or a real book that I've already read in the future... I think it was written well after the middle east peace treaty was signed, some time after never....Anyway, good boy :)

splendid and true.