This poem sounds like words of a cheating man - too eloquent - to easily muttered, too slick.

where'd you sit? i was in 116... graet show.

very nice young timothy

cn u not make them any longer

I never thought Whores slept. A cheeky 7 for kicking the strumpet and cracking me up

Your a nutter, nice title ! *******************6***************

Here's a 8 for making me smile this morning.

Oh my...I like this alot

This deserves more than a rush read so I'm taking this puppy and taking it for a walk inside my head. I'm interested in this give me some leads???????

not sure about the end, i can tell this is personal, made me think of feelings locked in a chrysalis, but the ending needed the butterfly and you left me cocooned in your confusion. As a thinker i get lost in whats there, whats not there and could be there. Heres a 7 for screwing my head up, and giving me an idea for the shitty bus ride ahead of me !

Vulcan ! This could be really good and I see you've re edited it. But....its still flawed check line 8, change the opening of line 10, take your time I f****g love beginning and end but the aforementioned's gotta get sorted.

that must be 10.

Pull up a chair, put your feet up, bite the end off a cuban and listen up ! I want to read your work BUT as i am reading it my flows interupted by crap spelling and i have to start again - NOT FAIR MAN ! I know some people on here get fucked off with being told they havent spelled this or that right but as poets in our own ego masichistical ways we are striving perfectionists so as i said change it and throw you my vote [[[thanks///

A caviar of fish working class meets royalty.

keep writing your having a good day Monsieur Hatters

I know what the problem is can I tell you?

Vulcan--I really like this, it's very neo-Romantic, and you've really captured a "Keatsian" flow and tone (as well as the direct nod with the reference to tuberculosis). There are some problems with the narrative structure--the second and third lines seem to stutter, for one thing--but your images are very strong, I think, and the phrasing, in places, is lovely. I particular like the "vaulted grave" conveying freshly mounded dirt and the comparison with the more expansive "Vaulted Sky."

I have to agree with Cadacus on this. The spelling and grammer errors make it almost unbearable to read. Give it a once over before you post next time. I do like the last line though...it sums it up nicely.

This was wonderful

HILARIOUS