Frass
on Untitled by vulcan
2 Nov 2002, 9:54 AM
Gold of the underworld, do you mean "That the lovelorn shepherd lives"?
I really enjoyed this poem.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
Haven't given a 9 in awhile. Reminds me of the line "squeezing out sparks" by Graham Parker. After reading this, I'm going to finally rent "Lenny" with Dustin Hoffman playing the role of the comedic genius Lenny Bruce.
better...butter? ah...i get it butter---flys..you are sharp and muy intelligente, you must be dark angle'S kin, or perhaps his plumbers...CRACK!r
Painfully true. You are quite the writer Mr. Jones. Another for me to look up to, thank you.
I give this an 8.
i give it an 8
i give it a 7
reminds me of a song about this girl who was molested. I dont know if she was molested, probably not. But you describe this girl's feelings well so I give it a 8. It was gunna be 7 but since the title is "a day in march" i gave it an 8.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
1 Nov 2002, 8:39 PM
*Laughing* I like this. You missed the apostrophe in she's and the cap on I, but I think you've done well with the writing.
You have some very original lines:
tombstone podiums
sandpaper handshakes
etiquette is lost to the
monotony of the day.
-These are my favorites. My only problems are with the layout and grammar.
I get that way when I take my uppers to late in the day. My advice is to do something really, really tiring before you sleep.
Also, I wrote another Welsh poem, it's less silly.
barried -> buried?
Otherwise, well done.
THE FINAL COUNTDOWN, DA NA NA NA/NANANA NA NA/DA NA NA NA/NA NA NA NA NA NA/DA NA NA NA/NA NA NA NA NA/DA NA NA NA, NA NA NA NA NA NA!!! (Europe)
You should have told her veggie pizza may make you less fat, but it still makes you fat (fattie).
THIS TITLE IS EXTREMELY OVERUSED.
6
dementia? Oh please