This is not nice

4 because I sympathise.

O Brother Where Art Thou was a cool movie with a good soundtrack. I really do enjoy the Coen brothers' sense of humour.

You are good with rhythm. If you work on finding a way to make your reader feel what you are feeling, rather than just telling them, your work will be greatly improved. Imagine your feelings as something, even something as simple as a monster under the bed, and describe your feelings in metaphor.

oxymorons can work. writing about finding nothing to write about. leap out of the circle and show us.

deep at the bottom is where we poets draw a well-spring. keep digging while looking back up at the light.

too many moments here.

this longing throbs. the end line twirks a bit off line, but i can hear a heartbeat here.

dont wanna be a purist, but, 6 beats on the last line...

yes

I have some very sad news to report to you all. Horus8 has smoked himself retarded. His poems and comments might seem a bit confusing from now on.

thematically interesting...it would really pack a punch with more images for the reader...the old "show don't tell" applies....how could you show a confident soul? what image might evoke that? is there a way to show her questioning herself without telling us?

Way more original than "untitled" or even "Untitled"

I never realised the word "masochistic" had such rhythm. I think you should adjust your sentence structure a little; some of it sounds as though you are trying to sound old fashioned. It is very contrived. The poem is rather cliche; I think it could be written better. I like the idea behind the line, "When razor's edge did charm me like the moon." though. The bad sentences kill the whole thing though.

Add an inspiring ending and submit this to the next "Chicken Soup for the Soul".

Run a spell check on this, and have someone check the grammar. The rhyme scheme is off and so is the rhythm. Who is Heaven? Wouldn't God's Heaven, or Heaven in the Sky or something like that make more sense?

my haiku is better. HA. just kidding this is good. but why did it cost many jewish lives? Shouldnt they be saved? 9. three pointed star. as in half of the star of david? Was it torn in half? ahh questions

YOU SHOULD REWRITE THIS ONE PRETENDING YOU WERE IGGY POP (PRE-BOWIE): WHEN IT SOUNDS WRITE SUNG ALOUD YOU'VE DONE IT RIGHT. DO SOMETHING LIKE "GIMME DANGER" WITH AIDS.

I think this would be more intense if written in the first person. The metaphor is weak. I like the weight of her hopes and fears... that's good. But do her hopes really weigh, or are they just tied down by her fears? I see a competition between them.

great!impressive very!