some deleted user
on Lost by Birdman42s
3 Nov 2002, 7:10 AM
You're very good!
Thats sweet :)
Amazing!
Read 'A Martian Sends a Postcard Home' by Craig Raine. He did it better. And first.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
3 Nov 2002, 7:01 AM
WOW!
Have you ever watched the 1941 John Ford adaption of 'How Green Was My Valley?'. Everybody talked in Irish accents and it was total bollocks, even more so than the book. It beat Citizen Kane for the best picture oscar. I detect a smidgin of irony in this poem, but I've got a cold and my irony detecting is affected.
By the way, the mines were all shut years ago. There's only one left which was bought as a co-operative by the workers.
You should read the poetry of Harri Webb, a fine Welsh poet (who is the subject of my developing doctoral thesis).
I like this, but there are some rough edges that need to be smoothed out. I don't quite understand how you are MacBeth. What is the game that she is playing, if you are MacBeth, and she isn't really interested anyway? It doesn't sound like she's exactly being seductive. The first four lines are beautiful, the first 6 are good. Then, I get confused. I like the coldness of the poem. In the middle, the dialogue gives life and the potential for warmth, but it slips back into that dreary winter in the end, which makes me shiver. So much potential here; smooth out those images and I'll raise my vote. 7.
Very expressive, I respect that.
Wow! Love the way you rapped it up 2.
I felt that.
yes something must be I knew.nice
your best friend!10
It is great. I think it explains how everyone feels at one time or another.
Very good. it really tells how we see ourselves when we try to find what we are about.
very well writen. sounds like my home life.
i've seemed to have misplaced the packaging, or rather, plastic wrap that so innocently safeguarded my cigarettes...i suppose last night's waif (?) must have taken them, the cigarettes too. Anyways, the story continues nicely...as usual. * I accidently erased one of your comments on my poem...so my typos will unfortunately stay as there is too much sadness in that poem...i'll fix it someday. but thanks, I appreciate your help. always.
*"do i know u ?"
only as i know they
i'm sorry, but this beats allo...me and your father..we're just damn proud, and mr.jones found it right away and everything. here's a ten, and a polish rag for the harp.10!
very wiccan and savy. here's a 9.
visually pleasing and overall laden with hope and mystery in a timeless sorta way.9.
I don't quite get this. Could you afford us an explanation? I like it verbally, but don't know what it's about.
Cool poem!