-=SeTTle=-
on My cousin's baby sitter. by Bachus
27 Oct 2002, 7:08 PM
This is one of those time ASCII art is needed.
ha ha love the title. I suppose being gutless you also be anusless.
This poem is not total garbage and I even enjoyed it.
I saw someone who looked exactly like Chris Elliot today but he was selling postcards and knicknacks.
not clever enough to work. Unless one "gets it" as soon as they read it, you can assume you haven't been clear enough. Why not "and when lust is a must / trust turns to dust"? Granted it's a bit of a cliche but it's a silly poem.
The purpose of poetry is not even to convey *a* mood, certainly not your fucking mood. You know, this goes to show how clueless most of the poets here are. Now, since the poem is so hilarious I will assume that this is a satire of bad poets and haiku in general. 9
ON AND ON AND ON
Do not ASSUME that the reader cares - in all human endeavors involving and AUDIENCE, such as ART, POETRY and MUSIC to name a few, you have to somehow make us GIVE A SHIT right off the bat. It is quite OBNOXIOUS to PRESUME that since you are the author of such wonderfully heartfelt poetry we should ACTUALLY PAY ATTENTION. Your chances of reaching the audience are about as good as your chances of reaching the BOY/GIRL/DOG/CAT that RAN AWAY FROM YOU with a POEM.
Rhyme very forced. Make it mean something or don't rhyme.
1. Unclear, hard to understand. 2. WHO LET OPRAH IN?? 3. Make it sound less like Dr. Phil. 4. Reflect on 'the point' of this poem existing, and then rewrite it.
NUGHHHHHHH JERK JERK JERK LOOK I MADE A POEM
Will you be my..........SMOOTH BUDDY?
Tu poetry es muy tanto y taco, verdad??????????????//
This is like meta-angst. Pretty interesting stuff.
The phrase "strong as an oak" is a really annoying cliche. Try "permanent as a conifer" or something.
IT'S MY LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE AND IT'S NOW OR NEVER - I DON'T WANNA *LIVE* FOR-EVER - I JUST WANNA LIVE WHILE I'M ALIVE.....IT'S...MY....LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sincerity alone is almost never enough for a poem to go on - this is an exception. Excellent work, try expanding the range of subject matters which you right about - don't just write about what you most strongly feel.
Totally excellent. Not justreadable but very interesting - I don't think I've ever read anything with much in common with this poem. Unusual sentiment.
Crisp - overused, sun does not reflect on glass bevel to make rainbow, it refracts, the soul is not the sort of concrete entity with which strong haiku are built.
If you were a boy you'd be so fucking gay. 8
gsdjkdsl;sdljfkjfsd not bad