god'swife
on some deleted poem
10 Sep 2002, 12:29 AM
Good grief.
Very funny, a real snapshot of life as we all too disturbingly know it
Sure ha,ha,ha that one was a joke, ha,ha,ha no honestly ha,ha,ha. Good one birthmark, had em a rolling in these isles.
Don't forget to fuck her one last time strictly out of spite. Then tell her what a piece of shit she is and through her out of the house. A golden opportunity my friend. Otherwise no poetry.
Jeez i wanted to be nasty, but you jus to good. Well hell don't ye just scrape the skin of a lime revealing all thats inside. Yo knows how it is, and yo tells like it is!
A painful picture, nice way to end it.
This is teen angst rubbish! When you leave mommy and daddy, you can sleep all day if you like. Fuck the world, YEAH!!!! I am the anti-chirst, cuz I wanna be anarchy....and so on.
This is one lone Pete poem. Babble, in other words, that does not amount to much. I didn't think it would ever end. Where is pete anyway.
The title overused and makes me start a song in my head before I even start the poem. I like the style; you used it in the other poem, but I have the same feelings. I can see you ticking away, but I do like this one better than the other.
Writers Block? Pesky neighbor. I bet you'd like to blow a hole through him large enought to accommodate a view.(or a small toddler).
"Filled her up just right" makes my skin crawl. (Please remind me again why I love you). Good job being creepy. The last stanza says it all.
Yes absolutely yes! Try making the 1st stanza, which will now be the 2nd, present tense. Does that sound better to you?
I can't share other people's enthusiasm for this. It is well put and pithy and everything, but the implied superiority in the author's attitude leaves a nasty taste in my mouth. This is mean-spirited and arch and smug. And this 'poeme' nonsense really begins to grate after you've read more than two or three Dark Angel things. You are very self-satisfied aren't you?
gee, isn't this the lily of the valley? why the counter offensive..feeling guilty about spending all of your time behind a two way mirror. just kidding. not. oh ah..nice pee stain 8/10!? dude you nrrd a thorazine enima.
Like every other you is, toe rag tiht head u are a can top bar steward ri keth of os cular downlow, keeping it real like that. Hard hittin man. Obsidian optometrists, napping just for you.
4, 5, & 6 definitely. "The recoil sent you..." So good I closed my eyes. Yes. I also like the way she rides her moto without her helmet. Some R&R of her own. Whether you meant that way or not.
Bravo sister. Keep sharpening your pencils. Solid 10s.
Yes is my favorite word this evening. So yes. In my opinion this really starts working at "With one extended..." The first 4 and a half lines are some what overdone, dispite that, I like it.
I do not like this, so listen to GW. It is so well done (as in over cooked) that I can almost hear you trying to be clever. I want the words to come effortless; these seem forced and contrived. And add an apostrophe to your.
Good idead lost in odd style.