Hot damn, PAKI, you're on a writing binge this evening. Two for you.

this one's growing on me...

You just changed the style of this. Last time it came up, I set it aside because of the style, so wise choice in the change. You used laugh in some form 5 times and crack 3 times - is it intended repetition? Third stanza is excellent, but I have trouble with the second and the poem seems to drag along at times to the end. Seems you mixed some moving and downright fine images, with "just getting it all out on paper." Take the comma from behind "left." I think it has more power without any pause and it creates a nice image. Just a thought. I don't know, I like the poem overall, (it is not a triangle) but it could use some tightening, especially in the 4th stanza.

I just hear the flipping Brian or Bryan Adams song in my head, "Baby, I just can't stand another lonely night, so come over and save me...." and on and on. Plus, this poem is full of tender hearted cliches.

hey! i got mine at walmart. it was a rollback...i even hit the car behind me and they let me charge it anyways. so what are you tyrying to say?

i canna figure out what you are trying to convey here. how do you deadhead an ocean? fill it with jerry's fans? clip away the wasted blooms? why!

?????????I LOVE YOU TOO??????

Hey you and BARBIE have the same exact ending. And even have ?????????? all over the place. Oh well, can never say it enough: ???????I LOVE YOU TOO?????

There is a strong contrast to your other poems. I like that effect. Although they too venture into the unseemly realities, this one is particulary dark. 40 words 13 of them harsh. I want to know more. Look to the left, look to the right. Walk down the street, enter. Plus you used my favorite word.

regardless of how it is categorized..which is rather unimportant in my mind..i really enjoy the subject and diction used. very nice job 9/10

Yes, Nntwnd, you have. The line about the tear is the best; otherwise, I'm still waiting for Dunkeles Engel to submit something with meaningful line breaks

I like the openly shared emotions and sense of connectedness to others your poems evoke, GW. Makes me think of Dylan T.'s 'After the Funeral.'

The tragedy and harrowing experience reflected here saddens the reader; but, the quality of your writing provides energizing redemption. 'Crazy, maybe... but surely kind' certainly reminds me of people I've known.

Misogynistic pap.

bachus, you rapscallion!

a sharp-edged shard, this is. you paint it clean in my mind.

This may not be a Haiku, but I like it's unabashed directness. How about 'God; loving kindness...But, I'll likely go to hell...Where was my error?

and measures you by the fact that your lawn's not edged...right? this made me laugh. these are the neighbors i grow my dandelions for, p&k.

OH...MY...GAWD!!! i coulnd't have said it better myself. um, i mean, i couldn't have said it. at least not like this. prithee, Jesu, show mercy, for i have not: 1

It can be a haiku (see comment under bacus' poem about marauding a cousin) although it really is more of a statement than an image. But fair enough and fun all the same. right-o.