Too many NOUNS! NOUNS! It's like a LIST! Of THINGS. Not of descriptors!

ouch! (i sat on a tack.)

this poem makes me want to curl up under the sheets on a cold winter night with a stomach full of pills and just...relax. 10

rem acu tetigisti.

not sure if this isn't a little overblown. i think for the style, the revelations within aren't revealing enough. it doesn't seem to illuminate any hidden truth, only couches it in stilted language. and this: "We were royally screwed indeed," seems really out of place in here. strange inclusion. it's better than any poetry i could write, but i think it could say more, and simpler.

i have to start rehearsing for the sound of music today at 5....i fear my outrageous amount of time spent upon poemranker will have to be cut in half...pity realy...and a bit frightening...

because amelea is the devil in disguise, more of you know who's tom foolery...what? you couldn't tell? i'm suprised you guys were even leaving that twit comments on his poetry(he must have been lol!)....it was obviously a meat puppet....i could tell a mile away....it reeked of the dark one...or someone impersonating him impersonating someone?

Why would some sandbagging ethnic imposter sandbag this heart wrenching ditty about three blue collar american brothers that work for their father and can't figure out what's missing in their lives.....it happens to be enigmatic and brooding...i demand restitution...or at least milk and cookies..how about a blow job? okay! fine, but this is the last time i put on these knee pads...they are starting to smell..

Well yes, but there aren't quite so many of those as nouns, I don't think. It suddenly hit me that I was commenting, but I hadn't read the poem in a few years. What do you think of the last stanza... "We are cannon fodder &c?"

Well, I'll take that as a compliment. Thank you. As for Godswife... this is her forum, afterall, I really like her stuff. But that is why I feel inspired to comment... because there actually is something of merit there.

Everyone scratches themselves at work. If we didn't we'd have to do something like type. She won't think you've got crabs. Hopefully. I lilke the triotic curve you give it with the last two lines. Wonderful work.

My suggestion is to quit watching bad teen movies. Or considering your youth they may still hold attraction. But in this case you are write. This is a series of 100 haikus and the second one seems out of context. It is in a series that would be considered more cliche, because don't we just love those things. So I popped it off.

I always want you around lemonade. Because we need such insight and I do not think Ms. Winterson would much care to join this site. Besides, GW needs a bit of honest critique from the feminine side because we boys are still hung up on the cupped breasts in the 1000 language poem.

It utterly mystifies me every time someone confuses -=Dark_Angel=- for horus8 (e.g. Christof's intial misinterpretation of A Mused Mystery), or seems to think that -=Dark_Angel=- is yet another of the many accounts run by the same person as horus8, Bachus, <{Baba^Yaga}>, and so on. First of all the -=Dark_Angel=- account is older than all of those, so if they did belong to the same person, horus8 would be the light jibbering relief alter ego of -=Dark_Angel=-. But I don't expect the more recent comers to poemranker to study the 'date joined' column on the users list. What's more important is that there is hardly any similarity whatsoever between -=Dark_Angel=- and the other characters. Obviously in the minds of the 'serious' poets now dominating this site, they are all 'different' (from the serious poets) in some way, and that is enough to consign them to the same bin. But how are they different? horus8, Bachus et al are easily matched together. They're not so much alter egos, as alternate names chosen randomly at log in and used to spout the same meaningless, pseudo-mystical-offbeat-poetic, drug-addled (or drug-acted) nonsense. -=Dark_Angel=-, on the other hand, is surely characterised by naughty and irreverent poetic subjects, mock-archaic language, lack of tolerance for pretension and teeny tripe, and sometimes unfathomably heavy sarcasm, but also, when he does decide to argue something, for his clarity and logic. The only similarity is that horus8 uses many of -=Dark_Angel=-'s favourite terms, such as 'ASL', 'Jesu' and 'beak'; however, any cursory review of the comment history will reveal that not only is horus8 shamelessly imitating -=Dark_Angel=-'s original use of these words, but that in some cases he didn't realise what they actually meant (see for example his use of 'ASL'). -=Dark_Angel=- is in fact much more similar to Settle, waltfreakinwhitman and beakism (though these accounts have been inactive for a while now). Maybe horus8 et al are all run by a super-troll, carefully constructing their faux-stoned messages as well as running other, more rational accounts, but in that case, there's no reason -=Dark_Angel=- would be one of them. In fact, it's much more likely to be one such as god'swife. I think my rant here is finished. And so sayeth -=Dark_Angel=-. For alway.

Ouch! (I sat on a tack.) Although it could have been worse, considering the "material" at hand.

it's me again! what's going on? ahhhhh!

Wow, where did this come from? I though this discussion was over. We now know the Bacchus scandal. And we know god,alex/ben are one, but you are a mystery. I though beakism was you. He/she logged in last night. And what about the other -=l33k=- character with the same wings, who was that. I cannot keep up with this soap opera.

Considering my youth, I am still in my prime. I know that I have lots to learn and it thrills me to my fingertips. Bad teen movies are like candy: an indulgence. Fun for all ages.

reproachful trembling emaciated, corpselike merciless....But yes, too many nouns TOO. Don't get mad.

this is rancid. buckle up.