Venus
on Award shows make my cock hard, but you don't by Bachus
31 Aug 2002, 1:32 PM
Shit, I can't stop now, my old buddy Axl is coming on soon, can't miss that... v luv b luv h luv b~y
Much improved. Get rid of 'Is it' in line 3 and line 7,'it's' in line 11. Last line should echo first, 'DOES it resemble mine' Great you've done a terrific job of editing. Now the subject of the poem has a larger scope, and really could be anything. 8
Horus had me write a tribute to it called "Award show? make my cock hard." it pretty much sums it up. trust me spare your mind...i know it's fun to watch the integrity of our great culture being trampolined into oblivion, but fuck! it left me with a rash and having to sleep with a loaded gun....go to my latest selection..it pretty much hits the entire show in the nuts...oh and horus said thanks for the blood break down, now he's got another reason to go to colorado instead of snow boarding..the tastiest soup and wrestling Atalanta! b luv h luv v.
Good afternoon GW, and welcome back. Please see my slightly edited version of Intense Irrational Realities (per Z's suggestions), including my response to your request for clarification on it's meaning. Do tell me what you think - much obliged.
How did I ever miss this little gem from the God of Spilled Wine??? You know, I paid a visit to Bacchus last year in Firenze - Michelangelo's version anyway - my favorite wino right up close and personal! Me-O-My! I was so inspired I drank three bottles of chianti that day (rather than the usual two). Just have the show on in the background right now, a train wreck I can't help but peek at. You make good observations, and hey, at least the show inspired you to write a piece. Thoughts so far: Pink - henna tats all over her body; faux ink - how telling. What's up with the token little white boy on stage with all the brothers, everyone pretending he can dance? The Hives - hey, isn't that Beck singing? Hmm, sure looks like Beck, moves like Beck, oh wait, no, can't be, cuz Beck is Prince, no wait, oh, fuck it, I'm confused... 7/10
Shin is pretty bad, and I bet his fairy tale hobbit prose is a real breath of fresh air. first off I want to clarify I am by no means a patriot (I am a journalist, nationalism is against my oath). that said: Again, you make yourself sound uneducated. The entire US of A was not built by slaves, where the fuck did you get that one. And when did Canada become immune to such antics or are you know no longer connected to the British, symbolically or otherwise. I believe one of your biggest entrepreneurs is trying like mad for knighthood. Fuck, a fourth of your own country does not even like you and wants to secede because you are trying to toss your language, among other things at them. Jesus, and if Canada is so fucking sweet and cuddly why are your corporations coming down here in "good ole capitalist America" and fucking up our environment and then bailing? It is even steven, we dump our trash up there, you fuck up the West with your multinationals. What the fuck do you read? You sound like a fucking little girl who needs to do some serious reading instead of relying on lovecrat to guide your way. Your brash statements are so generalist it is obvious you really know nothing of the world. Have you been anywhere outside of Halifax. I can send you a whole list of Canadian wrong doings but what is the point. I try to think things through before I open my mouth. Of course, Bush is an idiot, but the multinationals love him, including the Canadians. So first, learn about your own fucking county before you make such childish statement. And try to stick to poetry.
And as far as pompous and pretentious, it comes down to this. Shin's stuff is mindless hogwash. At least I can fucking write something that proves I do more that watch reruns of bad "American" TV.
Nothing wrong with heckling a nation of murderers and thieves and built by slaves
You know razor girl you quite possibly make the most uneducated asinine comments on this site. Are you just bitter because Shin happens to be one of the worst poets on this site?
The only american tv he commented on (once) was a-team. Lord of the Rings...the samurai ones(where do you think Kurosawa came from? idaho?).The point is P&K, you have very little sense of humour. The tv thing mystifies me, though, as he only mentioned it once. But then, really, you're just a redneck post-modern yutz who thinks reading his little speeches at rodeos makes him great. Go into your yard and wave your flag a little more..good.
I hardly consider Shin to be one of the worst and neither do a great many people. He is not a poet by and large. his talent mainly is in his prose, while his poems are mostly amusing. He came to this site to laugh at pomopus, pretentious idiots Thanks for volunteering. As for my comment, I did leave a lot out. I neglected to mention the bit about the Indians being massacred. My bad. Considering that the U.S. is one of the major world powers, with money coming out of its ass and yet it won't feed its own people and is run by a warmongering redneck yahoo, yeah, I forgot that too. "built by slaves", yep. And then the lynchings. Perhaps i'd have more respectfor the good ol' U.S. of A. if it wasn't by and large so violent, racist and isolationist, all while blissfully raping the Earth.
you are a hand puppet, a toadie, a renfield. need a job? i could you'se someone like you to organize my piles...then we could light paper airplanes on fire. then send them carrening into the towers of filed filth...sounds fun huh...look down... see that..that's your pitch fork being rolled away by a dung beetle.
Actually, I find this amusing and I think we have spoken before. But here is my take since you have lumped me into the conservative group of poets, which maybe I am. I'm not sure considering stylistically I challenge certain conventions and I am always experimenting with sound. To me sound is extremely pertinent to the poem. I do admit my subjects are quite simple, but I try to subtlety reveal the complexities faced in certain phases of experience. So I guess I write what I know when it comes to poetry. It is what I feel comfortable with and how I can figure out things I am dealing with in my own life. Plus I am old school in believe the poet cares only for "love and death." As far as theater, I feel much more comfortable experimenting with the language and I feel like if you read something in that field you might get a more well rounded opinion of how I use the language. But enough of that. As far as you work, and I assume you are also horus I find it quite good. I am all for writers that not only challenge the reader but challenge convention, explore new styles, put words together the are out of the ordinary and make people double take. I also think improvisation is a great way to experiment with sound and words and flow. Poetry in many ways is like jazz and should be treated as such. So, I compliment you for your stretching the limits, for not being afraid to take risks. Language needs that and we need to find more ways to make poetry accessible to more people. I believe I mentioned a poet I know that employs a similar style: aggressive, fast, confrontational; using the power of the voice as much as the poem. Please do not feel like you have to continue to justify you actions. Let the poems speak, don't feel insecure, and screw what others think because I think you are on to something.
Difficult for me to vote on your poems. As an exercise in writing they rank high, but as something finished they do not. You've got plenty of accurate imagery, but what the specific point and/or points are is never clear. I keep looking for some insight on lust because of the title but I find none. I don't mind someone mixing metaphors,but yours change from line to line, and I can't follow. I believe art has a duty to be iconoclastic, but for me it seems you use the absurd image for masturbatory reasons rather then for expression. For example ---One-eyed crossaint butterer-- just appears to be more of a statemnet about how clever you are then a statement about class or society, or anything else for that matter. That entire stanza reminds me of deep-fried beaver pellets stuffed with chocolate ice-cream covered sardines. I mean yah, that's some impressive cooking. but who's gonna be satisfied? You have above average talent and obviously have your finger on the pulse of invisible forgotten realties, but you don't make enough sense. Again as an exercise in writing this gets a 10, but as far as being poetic it rates a 4.
Indeed I'm a mad mongrel mix like yourself - Russian & Greek from Mom's side, French & Indian from Dad's... your basic lover/fighter mixed breed. The lemono is my specialty all-winter-long soup, makes me feel all warm and snuggly during those cold and snowy Colorado winters. Just getting around to watching the music awards finally - oh that little Marshall Mathers, ya gotta love him! h luv v.
The reason this poem stinks is because it says nothing. Nothing about the character who's expressing himself. Nothing about Osama and nothing about the U.S. It's simplistic and ignorant in it's structure. You could be talking about anybody or anything. I like Henry Ford/Henry ford's a damn cool guy/ Fuck riding a bike. Big deal. You want to push people's buttons? Do it with something of merit. You are boring.
Damn, those are good suggestions too. Wonder how many times I'll have to revise this thing before I get it...
he happens to be breaking through the normal stances of writing and conveying certain thoughts..how about you? stick to your 'reading' of poetry open mic to a crowd of ten.. poetry that you have to memorize for dayd ahead of time if it's new the others you know by heart, but you NEVER CHANGE ANYTHING..it's the same old show, over and over and god forbid if you forget a line on stage cuz then we have to hear you appologize and try to go through the whole piece again, FUCK! why? because you can't improvise (it's so much sexier and creatively inspiring to fly by the seat of your pants)you never could and you never will, you need to go 'read' poetry with babbit in the woods, and keep teaching the young ones here the beauty of the ruby warbler, and let your little bros handle the improv madness..."one eyed croissant butterer/" a penis...duh..nevermind...you are getting slow in your old age...this is clearly four seperate pieces that work off of eachother in a very accessable manner...i..unlike you, have developed a 'new way' to edit, write, and mix my old with my new and collage it with anything i can grab, media, commercials whatever...what do you do, ah yes the same old same old....boring...way to push the envelope..here you preach about the spoken and written word as if you truly grasp the meaning behind god speaking life into us, yet you fail to deliver anything other than lusty little girl daddy praising drivel with a ufo inbetween...wow the majestic twelve..project blue bird, red cell, it's all the same.. and the truth is none of us here will or can do anything about it but go wow, she's cool..she knows...what? could you go up in front of an audience and speak proficiently about the topic in a three part series wrapping it up with a standing o at the end without memorizing your speach? no, some have to prepar...others are always prepared..lighten up to open up..their is no formula to great writing only the need to write, you once told me that...now what. you sand bag..whatever! and of course it's iconoclastic masturbation, that's the fucking title for christ's sake...the whole thing is about, religious symbolism and sex and love and the rituals involved with them...b-days, weddings...sunday school..etc...i'm realy worried about you! what have you been reading civil war poetry again in your bath tub...cuz wow your poetry these days are so risky..geez...red shoes flyingblah blah red birds dying blee blee...hidden agendas we have no connection to other then the grand fascade blah blah he fucks her blee blee where daddy go bla...i mean who in the fuck are you trying to impress yourself? here you praise the works of writers like rimbaud, joyce and so on.sexton they all developed a language and style that was their own...what have you developed, ah yes another red bird poem...babbits waiting in the woods,have fun...i'm off to discover new territories in writing, new layers to purge...see you under the spruce with babbit...i'll be the man on the moon....<brought to you by crowley's "the book of the law", have you got your nut today, and photo hack the quickest way to develop your memorys> lol!have fun with your originality.