Sounds more like lyrics, but if it is judged as a poem, I cannot understand why you stopped the rhyme scheme at the end. Did I miss something? The last line is weak.

The poem sucks is sincere advice for someone your referring to a suicide hotline? If you're comparing to Gloria Steinem then thank you for the compliment.

And it's suppose to be edit this poem Down nicely, not done nicely. I can't type!!!

some people feel big when they make others small. words or fists will do nicely, for them. i can see you're working it out here--good. it will not fade; it will poison you. all your poems that you put up here show that it's already in you. writing about it can only do so much; and when it's this close, the writing is more medecine than poetry. don't be tough. ask for help. keep writing, too.

Well Z probably put it in more sincere form than I could, but the point is the same. This is the perfect site for this to come up. And frankly I don't want to be apart of something like it. Poetry is poetry. This is something else. And, you Ms Gloria, great defender of the female gender, should be concerned. I mean you are a parent, I'm a parent. Get it. Sorry, Annie for sounding so harsh, but seriously, how are you doing?

Keeping with current events I see. But I like it.

Please stop calling me Ms. Gloria, thank you. Yes just like you I am concerned. I had a premanition (sorry I don't know how to spell it)last night that this very thing would happen, and i realized I was contributing to the foulness of it all. I didn't have a heart transplant, I just made a decission this morning to let it shine through just as you have for Annie. Thank you Annie for the oportunity to show how chartible we can be. Annie it only goes to prove that if you reach out, even to a stranger on a hotline, they will want to help. Your life is precious. Try to tell someone who's with you now. Or just show them all the poems you've written and all these desperate e-mails you've received. People do care.

and i'm not even apparent. seriously, though, rankers have been feeding off the sparring lately. not that there's anything wrong with that, but 24-7 wore me thin. Annie, there will be those who say crass things about your poems, because they seem more therapy than poetry. fuck them. they don't know you, nor you them. and there will be those who give you tips on how to write better. the first thing, you got right: you are writing about what you know. if you want to know waht would make these better poems, here's my opinion: edit yourself a little bit. imagine reading these to a bunch of strangers, and think, how can i make this simple, and get them to see through my eyes? cut out the extra words, show them what happened, don't tell them how you feel, say things you saw (yes, i see you did several times) and make them so real that we feel like we're looking out through your eyes. let us react to it, and feel what it felt like. i'm off my soapbox now. anyone else want it? p&k? mrs. g?

See Annie I tried to warn you! (look at one of your other poems for my comments) Pay no attention to the heartless cynics on this sight. They seem to be only inspired by any opportunity to slit a throat.

Previously I left you a very long comment on how to edit this poem done nicely, but it got eaten by the system and I don't have the energy to type it all in again anway if you'd like, contact me and we can talk about it. Again DO NOT LET ANY NEGATIVE COMMENTS AFFECT YOU most of the people who leave them are more interested in soynd clever then helping anyone out with their craft.

Hey, Goddamn wife. Ms Gloria. She needs to talk with someone. I was offering sincere advice, so fuck you and go read a psyche book. what you think this is some game, some fictionalized account. where have you been?

the way you turn what seems should be end-of-line rhymes into cross-rhyming works well, especially considering the adrenaline mainline tightrope walk off the plank that was their du jour. culpa type os, else gud.

And if you want to see a knife to the throat go look at Ms Friedan's comments from the past week. some lovely jousts. She has softened over the week. But watch out.

Holy shit where are you coming from? Just a few days ago you came on all high and mighty with your poetic airs, slamming this and slamming that and now you get all sweet, cuddly and innocent over something that is actually not good, and a personality that is borderline volatile. Have you had a heart transplant? And, I am not trying to sound clever. I am trying to defend the English language from adolescent raping. Some things are better said in a journal.

i think i see what you were getting at, but i'm not sure this gets at it. explain, please?

P & K i mis-read your comment. When I saw the word "suck" everything else you wrote seemed cynical. I had just read one of Annie's other poems and was afraid someone would do her harm. I see now that you were completely sincere and I'm very sorry I jumped to the wrong conclusion. As for my previous comments you are absolutely right. I critized poems harshly and I won't do it again. Please accept my apology.

do they still teach typing in high school?

Ha! Annie, I made the same mistake as you - a part not Apart. I think we just type to fast.

well, p&k, yes.

oops that's suppose to be sounding clever.