god'swife
on One by ben
24 Aug 2002, 9:59 AM
Your poetry is like a babbling brook of insightful wisdom. 10
Vaporous and so true-10/10
No one is bound to playing by your rules. Your vanity dictates to no one. A person wrapped up in himself makes a very small package.
I made a mistake. "amyn" is suppose to be many. Honestly!
Honesty makes up for so amyn mistakes. 8
eminds me of Richard Braughtigan. Have you read any of his poetry? Not that I think your ripping him off, I just like talking about him. 10
silent but hesitant doesn't gell. can't something be silent and hesitant? otherwise 7
the thing I like best is your descreetness it not stating what the taintor is, Could be any kind of vice. You'll has a typo and mixing of the metaphors clean with fire is considered wrong in most circles but if you're comfortable with it then leave it. 7
This is really swett,. You should develop it into a story. It has the ring of Lore to it. I'd love to see you add some more scenes of the couple together in their first life. You know, little vignettes. 10
Dang me, I'm just a foundering foole for this sort of poetry. If you just reeled this one off, Zzin, I'm gonna scream in jealous enviousity. Methinks you read...like, alot. Your capitalizing makes me wonder if you've hidden one more layer of riddle, or something.
Her eyes seemed borrowed conveys alot of information. I appriciate that kind of frugality. In my overly critized oppinion this could be a better short story then poem. On second thought your use of {she does not,I did not} wouldn't translate. oh well keep it up. 7
Some people base their entire lives around being offended and priding themselves on following arbitrary principles. These people have two reactions to what they see as an unpleasant social situation: a) tell themselves they're really offended and act accordingly, or b) tell themselves they're not offended at all and start trying to act aloof. Both of you are perfect specimens of this sort of person. I hope things work out for you igotissuez99!!!!
i demand you lemmings vote 0's when voting on this piece please, lest i run my gay blade thee lengths of your spoiled ethnic chasms! DAMNIT man, i am on a mission here to get to to the top five on the worst list fuckers, and you bastards giving me tens for this 'clearly racist smut' simply is not helping....oh..if you guys need prompting...here goes...i think all of your writings are childrens crayola-d wall scribbles, and black children with speech impediments at that, and of course all of the children have aids and ass warts...not to mention sickle cell anema....there...better, good...when thinking bachus think 0's...thank you for your support, aND MAY YOU ALL CONTRACT JAUNDICE AND MONO! bastards..undeserving prats..the nerve i swear..huh..some people..geez.o
I'd also like to point out, if I may, that this is poemeranker, not feelingranker. The beauty and tenderness of someone's feelings are irrelevant unless they have actually written a good poeme about them. Here are some other true propositions!! 1. Constantly attributing disparaging comments to bitterness and/or jealousy, especially when the disparaging comments are directed toward such clearly awful crap, is a sign of an addled mind. 2. I have nothing to do with razorgrin, nor she me. 3. Many people who frequent this site appear to have replaced their senses of irony with increased senses of self-satisfaction, and tendencies for smug dogma-espousing. 5. 50% of the ridiculous abuse directed toward me has been a direct result of me taking the piss out of their poetry. Another 20% is the result of people becoming angry when they read my poemes, apparently because I'm not writing mature, sensitive poetry that challenges our preconceptions of love, mortality and the universe. Another 10% is the result of people being angry because they do not find my poemes amusing. The remaining 10% is the Sacred 10%. Nobody knows what that is.
excellent ending z..really got me verklemt...love the noah-mediterranian mythos-british isle-mythos======your mad loom..spin on with your tangled skein...tom petty tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!yes! 8/10v
ben you are evil and full of the devil...i curse you...and have sent a swarm of locusts to carry away and eat your mother's cooking...you went on a reading spree back there friend....ye made some comments that surely were false and misleading...i demand satassfiction...everything you voted well for clearly wasn't and vice versa....you my good man are a burden to your first name...i demand that you re-name yourself, "fifi", this instant...thank you..your peg leg "bachus"! <brought to you by 'go-fast' the better way to go, and 'fermunda weeze' cancer of the lung mixed with just the right amount of bubonic plague> 1/10
Awkward, formulaic gushing - the best way to show your poetic appreciation!!
it looks a bit better in the light of day... a bit 7/10!
Dinner AND a Movie....maybe, but you know, I have Francis...or "the guy in houston" lol. I want him to take me to Galveston and the coast....mmm....sex on the beach...be sure to use a blanket, otherwise you'll get sand up your ass....my mom told me that...ew. lol. this site is so fun. love, jade