A coming thunderstorm will work if you like, but think of it on a more erotic level...

ZZinnia66 - Oh, my young soul rent from these old bones as I read this. Great peom!

Quite excellent. Particulary liked line "sun is in your blood". Beautiful work, will review your others. Last verse excellently structured, short and sweet, a fitting epilogue. Have a ten from the UK.

overdrank? overtold? whereupon? Quaffing. Lit class is over! this is laughable stuff. Put the thesaurus away.

Fast and furious. I would avoid the first stanza though.

Just don't tip my canoe.

listen mojo until you've spent 13 months in a military prison for pointless shite i don't expect you to "get it", but it has to do with more then what meets the eye people, like for one, the fact that you don't have a real hold on financial stability in this stolen country(don't make me bring up ghost dance, and the indians) until you own a house or a chunk of land...which you end up bartering later for a loan to invest in your own demise...namely "life is an adventour", "but no one get out alive" (van wilder quote. so what's the point in sweating the inbetweens...know what i mean...?n

it's not a poem {mojo} you wanker, and its not prose either. it happens to be something entirely different altogether, and i wouldn't suspect your empirical colonizing intellect to grasp the exercise at all...not because you assume, but because assumption has not a spine nor a structure, therefore, you give me no choice but to take you on a botanical field trip...see this..this is Datura, if you steep this root when your moon mother is half at her best you will be able to leave your body and astro project, the down side is your cock hole will burn like lucipher for days after and it will scare the shit out of you(not the piss the experience) i won more money from my friends doing this then you can imagine, right?! cuz its impossible right...wrong...stay tuned for more informative useless information for people who aren't metaphysically adept later....nextwill be yeats and ayhuasca..n

Yes, you do write poetry my tornadic friend. I am intimidated and wringing my fists in the air because you gave mother a 0, no, no that just wont do. I thought we connected. I was hoping that we could accumilate hay together and maybe milk a cow? Whatayah say...Nay? Parfiet? Okay. Prepare for the vultures your time is near I fear

Yeah i'll send you an address when i find a suitable one. What ye gonna send me, will it alter my mind? My family decline the opportunity to sample your goods they have their own god. Yours gleefully awaiting presents nick nack paddy wack give the dog a kick....

God son, can't you see she's in it on it for it from it with it under it and above it.....STROKE!...You useless swine...Stroke!

I don't know why i like this but i do. Probably the aquamarine architrave. Good word choice. I read this as a coming thunderstorm. (But may be wrong).8.

Somehow to obvious. ("He's done it again"). I wonder if this, worthy, subject might express itself better through a little ambiguity.5.

Needed to review your poem with lowest average to console myself. But, alas, this is rather good too. Almost too much imagery though. Slightly tiring to read. 6.

How can i like this poem so much when i don't understand a word of it? I'm just a sucker for the sun. Hell, it cheered me up. But i sense an underlying melancholy. 8.

Thank you for your mojo

P&K, yes it should read 'in' a canoe. Aside from that, what do you think?

mighty, mighty aphrodite...see how the boys grovel for you..this is how eve weakend adam before giving him soma (fly agaric, a hallucinogenic mushroom that grows on trees, you guys out there didn't really think it was an apple didja?) ah...yes i see where this boat ride is going...8/10.

Are you eating on the canoe or in the canoe?

Teen angst=bad poetry.