pkdrunner
on The War by Tarquin De La Bog
15 Aug 2002, 3:27 PM
if this is a war, why are there adoring crowds, i didn't know war was a spectator sport..anyway first half was better than the second, like the other comment said..i gives you a 5
We can never be rid of the ghosts who haunt us. Not on poemranker anyway.
...like...I think war is being used as a metaphor for athletics, pdkafdhdah.
ah..that's why you don't vote d.a? i figured it was something as bottomless and fickle as "being that bad" (which it is) but d.a, z, has got you on shape, but your message is more satisfying(i can't believe i'm even talking about this goat milking fiasco) any way..i just read a poimee' from a one' robust youngsoul called "translations" totally encompasses the way i feel about feeling..i just got done auditioning for the sound of music...i'm now gonna stick my own kale gun in my arse and give myself some calcium richness now, i'm then going to use my beak to chisel off my hoof..because i no longer have the equipment needed to need.fuck you! mindless shape poets(anger is a sign of jealousy and insecurities) was this all ryans idea? da's?razora's?, z's?...is this a fucking conspiracy? ah...............hhhh..hhh......porcupin
wicked i like it give me more......!!!!!!
you could put that in a rap song and people would love it
Writer of triangle poems, this sets a new precedence. You could have easily spiraled right down the drain here, but instead you somehow make this thing work on at least three levels. If the cello is not one of the most sensual instruments around, it is now.
Didn't I already say I didn't like this once. Do I have to vote on the poem for it to stop popping up in the random file? I know there are tons of poems on this site.
If only you'd included 'beak' as a rhyme to 'weak'...so is this poeme about Cthulhu or what?
I have no heart, Sir, for it was taken from me in a Pigge Fight in 1374. Ah, yes, I remember that Fight well. It was me and Porky McFibbs the pig farmer on a sunny afternoon in the Belvedere suite, enjoying sherry and light chat on the poop deck... Oh, I do hope you'll forgive me, Sir. I must to towne at once to buy a Shoe-horne, for mine seems to have snapped in some sort of mating frenzy. Good day.
If this poem didn't contain the word 'butts' I would be thoroughly disgusted.
Levels schmevels. Haven't you seen The Witches of Eastwick? How could anything be more sensual than Jack Nicholson and some stupid bird playing cello/violin?
Look at the shape Dark Master. It has a top, middle and fate bottom. Three levels, like a mega shopping mall. It even has a butt. And maybe that is Jack's secret to lulling in the 20-something girls at his age. On the other hand, maybe it is his perky love poems. Maybe he writes them all in heart shapes.
Now this poem only works on 2 1/2 levels. And you were not as pretty at the top. It looks more like a heavy metal guitar. See there is a skill. Practice, practice.
I see you again dear poem, and still I cannot succumb to even pretending to feel the happiness everyone wants in being able to write anything more than rubbish. There, I voted, now please go away.
What do you mean? The top looks exactly like the head of a love barbarian. The 'ridge' is intentional, if that's what you're talking about. And I have seen many 'heavy metal guitars', and it does not look like any of those.
Shape. Sound. Texture. Mother has come out of her coma to touch the helmet. But the judge from North Korea is a Dike, so she knocked of a point for size.
Having one verse that rhymes and the rest in freeverse is extraordinary. And your non-meandering exploration of free-will vs. destiny has never been done before. Keep up the good work!
forrest gump write this?
Wow, this could have been good.