Re: Welcome To Croatia by Caducus	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	3-Feb-05/10:34 AM
-1 because this is really kind of boring, but it's beautifully said.
Re: Pictures of June by wilco	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	3-Feb-05/10:36 AM
I like this. I have no idea what it's about, but I like it.
regarding some deleted poem...	Bluemonkey 170.141.68.99	3-Feb-05/10:37 AM
The sun is just a star.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.72.4.250	3-Feb-05/12:13 PM
The vertical alignment only adds confusion. The last four words don't make sense.
Re: Harry & the Little Bird by Goad	Dovina 12.72.4.250	3-Feb-05/12:14 PM
What a poet will do to stick to a form!
Re: Pictures of June by wilco	Dovina 12.72.4.250	3-Feb-05/12:20 PM
Having trouble following this. Postulates are not proven, maybe that's the point. I like the first line.
Re: Enrapture by fevriere	Goad 217.226.22.139	3-Feb-05/1:37 PM
Very clever, and quite sweet. A grace note indeed.
regarding some deleted poem...	Goad 217.226.22.139	3-Feb-05/1:55 PM
Hey, this is a poem! Your same old theme, but this time with images, illustrating your feelings instead of haranguing us with them. Well done. You need to work on the last line of the penultimate stanza; filling is not the right word. You could change "where" to "that", and it would then be grammatically correct, but that would weaken the repetition. Instead search for a more appropriate verb.
Re: Dying Abroad by zodiac	Goad 217.226.22.139	3-Feb-05/2:22 PM
Loved it. Beautiful and wistful. God I'm a sucker for wistful. I think you're channeling "Anonymous" again in this piece, lol, it's got that timeless feel (You know, Anonymous the "small rain" guy) kill "slip sibilant." It's clever & reflexive -- which is completely out of place in the mood of the piece. Perhaps I agree the last fractious line oughtn't be so altered. I'm not sure. Suppose you could say something like "with the feeling your home, girl,...". But you've certainly earned the right to mess with forms however you like...
Re: A love apple's just a tomato (edit of "Uprooting") by fevriere	Goad 217.226.22.139	3-Feb-05/2:28 PM
I liked the apples line very much. It's like one of those delightful, bursting with child-like joy unexepected lines eec was so good at surprising you with.
Re: spherical by Patsy	wilco 24.165.207.93	3-Feb-05/3:47 PM
Simple and understated. Can work well a lot of the time.
Re: Ceylon Cries by Mona Lisa	wilco 24.165.207.93	3-Feb-05/3:48 PM
okay, I'll buy that.
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 24.165.207.93	3-Feb-05/3:49 PM
I could critique this, but I wouldn't say anything that Goad hasn't already said. Better than your usual.
regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 24.165.207.93	3-Feb-05/3:51 PM
I'm guessing you used the so called "big words" because of the title and that they are there to drive the point home. Assuming this, I'll give you a 7. Some of the rhymes do seem very forced though.
Re: An Ice Revelation by Nateislate	wilco 24.165.207.93	3-Feb-05/3:53 PM
I don't think this is really ten-worthy, but I'm going to give you one just because it looks like you were hit with some retaliatory zeros for something.
Re: On Being Born by emilyowey	wilco 24.165.207.93	3-Feb-05/3:55 PM
I like this. Sad and lovely, in my eyes anyway.
Re: Pictures of June by wilco	Dovina 12.72.10.11	3-Feb-05/4:07 PM
Well, I'm still not gittin' past the first line. Punctuation and capitalization more user-friendly might help, what with line 2 not really bein' a sentence an' all. An' ah never seen a brainwave collapse on no film. Guess I'm kina simple that way.
Re: Pictures of June by wilco	Crakyamuni 131.252.182.19	3-Feb-05/4:48 PM
Illustrated passion spreads like new disease A nice ring to that, and as a whole it's working.
Re: Rebecca, by Firelight by villy_zee_vanker	wilco 24.165.207.93	3-Feb-05/5:02 PM
Title is much better than before. -8-
regarding some deleted poem...	thepinkbunnyofdoom 216.68.220.24	3-Feb-05/6:32 PM
Well said