Re: A Dear John by misheila	Dovina 12.72.3.66	16-Jan-05/6:48 AM
I don't like this one nearly as well as your other. This seems written out of anger without close attention to craft. It's a whiny poem. And double-spacing doesn't help, nor do the lack of a spaces after commas.
Re: Rendered Genderless by PsydewaysTears	Dovina 12.72.3.66	16-Jan-05/6:55 AM
Good meter and rhyme, but the message is overstated. Lines like "I can become Anything I want to be" don't cut it, not in my world. I hear what you're saying, but please keep it real.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.72.3.66	16-Jan-05/7:03 AM
The first verse is good. If only the rest followed. Did you have a nervous breakdown midway in the writing?
regarding some deleted poem...	Blindpoetry 68.11.192.79	16-Jan-05/8:18 AM
I thought the last stanza could have been different from the second stanza, but it's still nice. :)
Re: Rendered Genderless by PsydewaysTears	Dan garcia-Black 66.159.232.165	16-Jan-05/10:19 AM
Overstated but real as a cheeseburger and a milkshake-9-.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dan garcia-Black 66.159.232.165	16-Jan-05/10:24 AM
P.K. Dick lives!
regarding some deleted poem...	misheila 170.224.224.156	16-Jan-05/11:02 AM
I have no comments about form or anything that the usual person would post.I just think it will be a good song.Good luck with the band and keep writing lyrics like the ones you've shared here.I gave you a 9
Re: Rendered Genderless by PsydewaysTears	dancin_n_da_moonlite 205.188.116.135	16-Jan-05/11:26 AM
nice.....i like the ham part..........and the theme is good.......though i feel you go on just a tad longer than what is most effectiv........... -mega
regarding some deleted poem...	dancin_n_da_moonlite 205.188.116.135	16-Jan-05/11:35 AM
nice....just a tad preachy though
regarding some deleted poem...	Stacy Stewart 67.51.232.76	16-Jan-05/1:25 PM
i thought this was a really funny poem :) good job
Re: A Fake Hollywood by Blindpoetry	RION12 64.136.26.226	16-Jan-05/5:46 PM
Do you really think Hollywood is that fake?
Re: A Fake Hollywood by Blindpoetry	Dovina 12.72.5.101	16-Jan-05/6:13 PM
They named Hollywood after what they thought was holly. It was not holly, but a look-alike, the toyan bush, which also has red berries at Christmas time. Hollywood's been a fake ever since. And use spellcheck!
regarding some deleted poem...	some deleted user 64.136.26.226	16-Jan-05/6:13 PM
You are a true poet. LOL!!!!!!
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.72.5.101	16-Jan-05/8:26 PM
pathetic
Re: Buried On Hollowed Ground by Enchantres	Shuushin 64.222.180.230	16-Jan-05/8:33 PM
Despite being a suicide/death poem (something too often done and done badly) this has an unusual angle in that it's a post mortem - and I like that. What I don't like is that there are opportunities missed for some potentially nice descriptive bits: night, fog, cemetary gates. Instead you just blurt them out like a noob. Maybe loose the whole first stanza so the reader isn't immediately disappointed right off the bat.
Re: Only Me by heartlessempath	Dovina 12.72.5.101	16-Jan-05/8:35 PM
What a terrible father you must have! Quite well written and convincing. Too much punctuation. The title - why only you?
Re: Only Me by heartlessempath	Shuushin 64.222.180.230	16-Jan-05/8:40 PM
an interesting idea, this. But I thinks it's a bit overdialoged - distracting. And the warrior angle could be clarified too, prolly. But really, a cool thing.
Re: Vulture by Stacy Stewart	Dovina 12.72.5.101	16-Jan-05/8:41 PM
Grammar!
regarding some deleted poem...	Shuushin 64.222.180.230	16-Jan-05/8:42 PM
Pretty funny, really. I hate clever shit I never thought of. This might be tough to read out-loud though...
Re: Buried On Hollowed Ground by Enchantres	Dovina 12.72.5.101	16-Jan-05/8:47 PM
"Now you see," but how so? You imply consciousness after suicide death. Better to say the killer is gone and knows nothing. vote-7 only because it's well written.