Re: Ghostly Rememberance by Beyond_Dreams	Dan garcia-Black 67.122.13.57	6-Jan-05/7:28 PM
Yep. They can really shove your meat into the freezer when it suits 'em. -8-
regarding some deleted poem...	horus8 24.130.62.63	6-Jan-05/1:39 PM
Whoa was noah's pimp. This realization has blown my wad.
Re: Nightmares Of Yesterday by Zalev	Dovina 69.175.6.101	6-Jan-05/5:12 PM
A worthy story, lacking interest because it's too directly told.
Re: The Way by Dovina	Dan garcia-Black 67.122.13.57	6-Jan-05/7:12 PM
Is this kinda like, "I found it in the last place I would a thought to look for it?" I think it's kinda clever in very unbelievable way.
Re: The Saddest Part by MacFrantic	Dan garcia-Black 67.122.13.57	6-Jan-05/7:20 PM
I like this and that's the saddest part.
Re: Gotta Leave You Alone by Katzclear	Mandrake 64.81.32.106	6-Jan-05/3:19 PM
Good lyric, you seem to be very proud of leaving your love, heh.
Re: War Story by dougsoderstrom	Shuushin 147.154.235.52	6-Jan-05/4:21 PM
kindof amazed that there are so many workable rhymes for "for" (I think you forgot "two-dollar whore")
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 69.175.6.101	6-Jan-05/4:34 PM
A hen was picking at a stack of pea-straw when a pea fell on her head, and she thought the sky was falling. Henny Penny was right for all her perception. Bewildered by a falling pea, she cried and cried, despite all their objections, not knowing she was merely bumping a mountain of a vine.
Re: Affairs by Stacy Stewart	Dovina 69.175.6.101	6-Jan-05/4:40 PM
"embers softly spoken"??? "Tis love is . . . "???? The rest of this sentence is a lumbering flourish. The conclusion "Tis the downfall of man." is not supported or led up to.
Re: The Fear of Being and will not be forever by Prince of Void	daggatolar 80.179.102.34	7-Jan-05/6:29 AM
we are eternally condemned by itself to nothingness, and for this we need not hold our selves in pain and agony over this since before death we all are helpless, but least that death is incapable of taking away from us is LIFE,lets live it in full and in meaning to make the world a better place , indeed to "REBUILDING A NEW WORLD"for the whole of humanity , this for me is my poem....
Re: Fanboy by Blindpoetry	Dovina 69.175.6.101	7-Jan-05/6:44 AM
Comma after Traveling?
Re: Let God Unwrite Itself by daggatolar	Dovina 69.175.6.101	7-Jan-05/6:50 AM
A good start, using rite, but at the end where you change to "write" I lost the thing that seemed well staged - that we can rite out God. You seem to introduce the notion that god was written and can be unwritten too near to the end.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.194	7-Jan-05/8:29 AM
I see the problem uphill/will (2 beats/1 beat) then now/allow (1 beat/2 beats). I guess it has to do with the stresses.
regarding some deleted poem...	Crakyamuni 131.252.231.65	7-Jan-05/10:06 AM
uplifting read. thanks.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dan garcia-Black 67.122.13.57	6-Jan-05/7:25 PM
Cool idea. I can't get past the 'will' in 8th line. I think it would flow better without it. Even so, at least a -9-.
Re: The Way by Dovina	Shuushin 64.222.171.185	6-Jan-05/8:22 PM
ouch - an anon one. Interesting thought. Is this a "do, or do not - there is no try" (Yoda) kinda thing? I like it - maybe we need an "aphorism" category.
Re: Johnny football painter by Crakyamuni	Crakyamuni 131.252.229.148	6-Jan-05/9:18 PM
typos anyone?
Re: Johnny football painter by Crakyamuni	Shuushin 64.222.171.185	6-Jan-05/11:22 PM
carnivorous irreparably and, what the hell, tremulant... I like the word - I don't like it there. Maybe if I knew your work better I could more easily accept the reach of it. It has a nice feel/flavor to it overall, though.
Re: Brethren, oblivion is not the road to the city Ataraxis. by SupremeDreamer	Lifeboatman 203.104.94.2	7-Jan-05/4:03 AM
hehe..10
regarding some deleted poem...	tadpole 24.55.116.186	7-Jan-05/3:00 PM
beautiful