| Re: Locomotive's Graveyard by longships |
Dovina 24.52.156.155 |
12-Oct-04/4:36 PM |
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I like this description and the "memories of those who once cared." Comma after reminiscing. Do pistons ever compress? Are coal holds really tinder cars? If so how do they stare?
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| Re: puff by Torok |
Rollsoftoiletpaper 205.188.117.13 |
13-Oct-04/7:33 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
lukehanney 144.173.6.76 |
13-Oct-04/3:23 PM |
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I found the poem disgusting and didn't enjoy it. Sorry.
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| Re: Story Never Told by Sirens_Voice |
Miggy 207.38.251.96 |
13-Oct-04/5:35 PM |
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am I categorized as a brainless twit? (I mean this considering I'm the one who brought you to the site)
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| Re: Shattered by Aetius |
Rollsoftoiletpaper 205.188.117.13 |
13-Oct-04/7:18 PM |
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Wooooah. Dig it, man. Dig it. This is the first Haiku I've ever read in my life...that I actually liked. 10 for me.
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| Re: Angst by Mikius |
Rollsoftoiletpaper 205.188.117.13 |
13-Oct-04/7:21 PM |
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"But not as bad as my heart.
Which is infinitely pained.
And tortured."
Dug that. -7-
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
cuddlytiger17 209.105.136.234 |
12-Oct-04/7:29 PM |
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The beginning was great and I can definitely relate to this. The ending could be a bit stronger though. Otherwise good job! :)
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| Re: Story Never Told by Sirens_Voice |
cuddlytiger17 209.105.136.234 |
12-Oct-04/7:34 PM |
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Good idea, perhaps you could substitute lost for stuck in line 18? Oh and in the 4th to last line maybe say "My story," that way it isn't repeating so much and puts more emphasis on the "fairy tale" idea in the last line. :)
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| Re: End by Sasha |
cuddlytiger17 209.105.136.234 |
12-Oct-04/7:41 PM |
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Good job Sasha! I loved it. It flowed so smoothly, just rolls off your tongue. So how you been ol' buddy ol' pal?
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| Re: Jesu Vs. The Hells Angels On Viagra by horus8 |
New Life Drug 69.107.3.231 |
12-Oct-04/9:37 PM |
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now you have a book? shit. I want to buy it and read it to all my friends. for serious.
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| Re: Story Never Told by Sirens_Voice |
New Life Drug 69.107.3.231 |
12-Oct-04/9:42 PM |
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not amazing, yet it made an impact.meaning I thought it was sad.. so thanks for that shooot. yur prince will come. and if not, just forget it. its so much more fun being a slut.
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| Re: She Crab by http://mulberryfairy |
New Life Drug 69.107.3.231 |
12-Oct-04/9:44 PM |
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she crab and he lobster are going to have wild sex and make herman's hermit babies. driftwood is hot. and so is everything about this poem.
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| Re: Hawk by Shardik |
New Life Drug 69.107.3.231 |
12-Oct-04/9:57 PM |
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gone on any hikes lately?
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| Re: Room 34 Ashford Hospital by Caducus |
New Life Drug 69.107.3.231 |
12-Oct-04/9:59 PM |
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| Re: puff by Torok |
New Life Drug 69.107.3.231 |
12-Oct-04/10:01 PM |
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the fishes partner? did you mean the fish's or fishes' im confused. are there two fish? damn. I hate fish. today my friend ate a tuna sandwich.
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| Re: WAR04 by Jody Conn |
eliastemplar 202.174.153.12 |
13-Oct-04/3:43 AM |
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Definately strikes a cord with me.
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| Re: !!! by Jezabele-In-Hell |
BleedingRose 24.164.62.49 |
13-Oct-04/9:52 PM |
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The style of this poem is such that I enjoy reading and often write myself. I vote 9 not because it is imperfect in structure, which I believe only adds to it's effect and value, but because I would not dare give it the extremest approval untill I have seen more of your works and had a chance to compare thier worth. Furthermore, knowing you personally as I do, I am left curious and somewhat hopefull of the discovery of the one you speak of.
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| Re: Poems of Love by BleedingRose |
BleedingRose 24.164.62.49 |
13-Oct-04/10:12 PM |
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I have decided upon re-reading my own work that the main portion of this item was designed merely as a prolongment of my true message.
As this goes against my belief in the truest qualities of communication, I have left only the portion that has ever had real meaning.
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| Re: Shattered by Aetius |
eliastemplar 202.174.153.11 |
14-Oct-04/2:43 AM |
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Excellent, but I don't think punctuation improves on haikus. Meaningful and thought provoking, friends are such rare and fragile things.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 |
14-Oct-04/5:44 AM |
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I think the fabric of this poem is all the stronger for a lack of punctuation. That aside, the actual content is filth, absolute muck, the kind of deranged ramblings of a chav tramp hungering after her next method of teenage pregnancy.
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