Re: Versions by Dovina	titan69 62.31.23.11	11-Oct-04/11:29 AM
10/10 Ilove this sort of peom.
Re: She Crab by http://mulberryfairy	peaceseeker 63.164.145.85	11-Oct-04/1:03 PM
So vivid I can smell the saltwater. The crab looked alive, but was actually dead. The lifelike floating legs and protruding passive eyes surveying all - kind of creepy, yet thought provoking!
regarding some deleted poem...	zodiac 212.118.14.17	12-Oct-04/5:10 AM
Your Spanish has gotten much, much worse. PS-Your Spanish poems are even more banal than your English ones - somewhat surprisingly, since your English poems are banal times infinity.
Re: One True Instant by Dovina	Shardik 24.130.62.63	11-Oct-04/3:00 PM
I loved the beginning, by the end though? I was like good christ. Women are so fucking co-dependant, blah.
Re: For Beth, after anal intercourse by zodiac	Shardik 24.130.62.63	11-Oct-04/3:17 PM
I'm a pinched hitter.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 24.52.156.155	11-Oct-04/7:46 PM
Dream on and on . . .
Re: I Cannot Go by TLRufener	Dovina 24.52.156.155	11-Oct-04/7:59 PM
Not your best. Too many words. Good thought though.
Re: End by Sasha	Caducus 81.130.200.189	12-Oct-04/2:32 AM
I've been reading Larkin lately and this one reminded me a bit of toads revisited. The whole poem to me is very polished and focused. One of the best seasonal poems I've read in a while.
Re: Locomotive's Graveyard by longships	Caducus 81.130.200.189	12-Oct-04/2:36 AM
You've given these dead loco's the kiss of life here and mucho respect for not dragging on too long with it. Lines 6/7 are can be explored further i feel, the greatness of of something now rusting away as fields bloom before them.
regarding some deleted poem...	Caducus 81.130.200.189	12-Oct-04/2:40 AM
S4 L1 lose: please S5 L2 lose : ever so S4 L4 can we change tears down my face they would obviously be on your face. There is potential in here and it just needs a tweak or 3, The opening is good but the last 4 lines limp. Woven shield is lovely.
Re: For Beth, after anal intercourse by zodiac	Caducus 81.130.200.189	12-Oct-04/2:43 AM
Anyone who can successfully utilize rhyming insertion and person deserves a pat on the back. I hope people dont just look at this as a laugh as to me there seemed something more.
Re: The Company You Keep by <{Baba^Yaga}>	Caducus 81.130.200.189	12-Oct-04/2:43 AM
Line 2 reeks class.
regarding some deleted poem...	Caducus 81.130.200.189	12-Oct-04/2:48 AM
Drop so from last line. Strong opening loved lines 1/2 2nd parts weakens the poem because it builds rather than capitalizes. Pretty good but it seemed rushed in parts
Re: Cast Iron Coffin by D. $ Fontera	Caducus 81.130.200.189	12-Oct-04/2:49 AM
Lose the message in brackets - fuck it the rest is refreshingly original so for that ___7
Re: Feast On Me by cuddlytiger17	Caducus 81.130.200.189	12-Oct-04/2:52 AM
Too good for a pimple too inconsistent in quality for a poem, the idea of being feasted upon could be elaborated on sooner as the end is the strongest part but by then i lost interest. Not bad - not good. 5
Re: Ponder on Pagan. by <{Baba^Yaga}>	Caducus 81.130.200.189	12-Oct-04/2:53 AM
moving on up.
Re: Litany by zodiac	lukehanney 144.173.6.76	12-Oct-04/3:59 AM
I like the ' patiently', but the rest of it doesn't do much for me. Sorry.
Re: She Crab by http://mulberryfairy	Dovina 24.52.156.155	12-Oct-04/4:30 PM
A nice description of the crab, except for "too too solid flesh." I'm trying to see it as a metaphor. Wish I could.
Re: Bracelets In A Box by cuddlytiger17	arduinn 165.21.83.246	12-Oct-04/6:08 AM
I don't know what was wrong with Sasha and DA. Whatever it is, just keep on writing.. based on your feelings or not. You can't please everybody but obviously, this one does it for me. (",)
Re: Life's Vision Altered by Katzclear	Dovina 24.52.156.155	12-Oct-04/11:00 AM
Try a spell checker. Some good thoughts here. Suicide is selfish and unkind!