Joi
on The Lordy only knows why tornados have no nose by Bachus
26 Aug 2007, 11:59 PM
ok?
very crisp. I liked it.
very nice. A good read.
To make it topical, I suggest the following alternative finale: "for gifts like these they call him drnick".
This moves like one of my favourite Dylan Thomas poems ('I dreamed my genesis'), and it's beautifully lyrical. Unlike DT it's not at all dramatic, and at first it felt a little empty content-wise - but as I read it gets more effective; stunning but bleak. You're creating some wonderful poems right now -9-
Brilliant
Why have you removed all your poemes?
I liked the third line. Need an ending.
Not bad, needs a message? Ya think?
Short and to the point. Not suttle enough. Tone it down and add to it.
Very insightful words. My oldest son that is 25 now has been to Iraq twice now. God Bless him. I like this poem very much. Good description.
Interesting. Waves of time is cool.
I love this one! It says so much.
Nice feel to this Haiku. Beatiful thought it brings to me. Thanks.
some deleted user
on some deleted poem
27 Aug 2007, 4:57 AM
Thanks INTRANSIT, I suppose you are reffering to the use of "they" and "how" in the left column. I will try to work on it and any suggestions would be welcome. Thanks for the vote and critique--there's not much of that happening on this site these days.
More about the "happy peril in a runaway colt"- please.
I also think it's too straight/technical/cold.
There you go.
Do you read Gerald Manley Hopkins? He's pretty Christian for a Jesuit. But he elaborates in such detail it becomes finally obstacle, rather than assistance. I think you do the opposite, handing us generalities without much specific life-gouging. I'd rather see you "tossed" than hear you say you are tossed, and see these "free" things the Lord gives you.