Progress

Gang members don't do this all the time. Did you fix the second line? Seems not. How do you know they don't like the lashings?

I like it all but the last line. It seems too obvious.

It starts as description and ends as sermon. I think it would be more compelling to describe the feeling for those in need rather than telling us to do it, what it's like to soar through life rather than saying we should soar.

Yeah, we know.

You could have made the cat your "ruling planet" to spice it up a bit. Try again.

Over technical. Becomes bean shaped. I'm sure there's more to work with here. Lose the ass. it's just childish. I like that you chose a tick.

Again, invert the first and the third. Or start over entirely.

The thinker.

Nailed.

Sad, but true.

If this is true, Explain all the college grads in our government. Meh.

This one's ok.

Too blatant. Are you writing poetry or ranting. For the artistic rant, See: Pound or Ginsberg.

I don't know what to think of the mouse hole.

Duh, whassa Tamp tie ?

It is those who are in darkness that see light most clearly.

It is true that they will find their way in time. I liked the thought put into this one. I didn't care for their father made the grade. I sounds to cocky. But all in all very interesting thought process.

I liked the ending verse. To plain need more of a messeage.

I liked the deepness of this.